Much Ado About Valentines
by Kryzanna
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at Leaf Valley High School, and as usual, Sasuke Uchiha's got the attention of all the girls; causing Naruto to sulk in jealousy. But the raven's actually giving someone a valentine this year. How can Shikamaru use this information to his advantage? And will Kisame finally actually get one this year? He doesn't care...but it would be nice... M/M pairs.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! I've got a couple of smallish/smaller fics in the works at the moment. Just little, light-hearted things that were supposed to be one-shots, but as usual, spiraled out of control. This is another Valentine's Day fic -but at high school this time! Hope you enjoy! **

**Warning: Contains male/male pairings, Hidan's foul mouth, and sexual references**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

* * *

"There he is! It's Sasuke!"

"Oh my god, he's so hot!"

"Sasuke, over here!"

Naruto Uzumaki let out a dramatic groan and covered his ears in annoyance as he glared enviously over at the small horde of teenage girls that were currently swarming on his raven-haired classmate; one Sasuke Uchiha. Clutched to their chests were items that made the blonde both cringe bitterly and seethe with jealousy; those pink and red handmade cards and expensive or laboriously handmade chocolates, not to mention flowers, movie tickets and all manner of gifts.

"Tch, I don't see what's so great about him anyway!" he snorted flatly; harrumphing under his breath as he glared over at Sasuke, who apparently couldn't care less that there were currently girls fawning on him from all directions.

"Well for _starters_," Sakura proclaimed from where she was sitting in the chair next to him behind the same booth, "He's super smart –like a genius, they say; not to mention he's like a soccer and karate master, and he's just –" She fanned her flaming cheeks to illustrate just how hot she thought he was. Naruto glared at her for her lack of support.

"…It's not even Valentine's Day yet," he grumbled, "…How is it _possible_ he's already getting gifts!"

"Everyone hopes that if they give him their gifts early, that shows that they love him more," Sakura explained simply. He deadpanned and stared at her; unimpressed. She immediately looked guilty and waved him away, "I mean…that's what I've heard…from other girls."

"…Right," Naruto snorted in disbelief; sinking down into his chair morosely, "…Ask me why you wanted me to help you today? If I see another sappy Valentine addressed to '_My Dearest Sasuke_', I swear I'm gonna barf." That comment earned him a punch to the head from Sakura.

"It's just for lunch time," she rolled her eyes, "Ino was…busy." Naruto rested his chin in his hand and knew pretty much for certain that Ino was out there in the swarm of girls chasing after their precious Sasuke Uchiha. Dammit, why did he have be so fucking _cool_; just passing through them with the class of an action hero stalking away from an explosion.

That fucking smug face of his; why did the girls in their year find him so fascinating? It didn't look like there was a fucking thing going on in his head! And if there was, it was probably along the lines of, _oh look at me, I'm Sasuke Uchiha; I am so much better than you all. Why are you peasants not _bowing _before my greatness? Get away from me, you swine; your gifts are not worthy to sully the delicate skin of my ivory fingertips…_

"Ivory fingertips, moron?" a smooth voice interrupted his inner monologue –informing him that it had actually become a muttered monologue that was apparently rather amusing to the prince of the school as he approached the stall.

"Shut up," Naruto snapped flatly; slouching in his chair, "What do you want? Don't tell me you're actually sending someone a Valentine this year? Some girl is _actually_ good enough to receive the affections of the mighty Sasuke Uchiha –"

"Naruto, I know you love a good dramatic speech, but _really_?" Shikamaru remarked with a yawn, from Sakura's other side; obviously having just been woken up from the nap he'd been busy snatching between classes. "It's none of your business if he's sending someone a Valentine." Naruto glared at him, but couldn't help but feel scolded as Shikamaru gazed back. He sighed heavily, folding his arms as Sasuke smirked and wandered off again with a Valentine's card; cold as ice.

"Oh my god; he _pisses me off_!" Naruto complained loudly, "What is his problem? Ugh…" He slouched in his seat again, "Sakura! Send me a Valentine this year?"

"Not happening," Sakura informed him with a glare; but when she saw him pout, her expression softened, "You never know; you might actually wind up getting some this year."

"_Some_?" he snorted; folding his arms, "Sasuke always gets _hundreds_." A vein in Sakura's brow twitched.

"Well maybe if you weren't so annoying, you'd get some more!" she snapped; cuffing him over the back of the head. He winced –wondering for the thousandth time why she was one of his best friends. "Now just sit there; lunch is almost over."

Naruto gritted his teeth and toyed with one of the red cards sitting in front of him. Every year, Leaf Valley High celebrated Valentine's Day with some sort of stupid, 'Cupid-delivery' system. For about ten days beforehand (why people needed ten days to pluck up the courage to send a potentially-anonymous love letter was beyond him), a small committee –usually girls –would sit at this stall in the courtyard at lunchtime. Anyone who might be thinking about sending something to someone could collect a card; write their message, and on the back, tick 'roses' or 'chocolates' or whatever else they were offering that year –and that would be given to the recipient along with the card.

All through Valentine's Day, you could see practically the entire female population of the school sitting on edge; waiting for those winged messengers to arrive in the classroom and hand out those stupid little cards…

Naruto hated to admit that on February 14th, he was one of those girls. He wanted Valentines! He wanted to be handed one of those fucking dumb-ass, tacky red cards and see that someone had written a little '_Be my Valentine?' _or '_I've always liked you'_ with a pretty silver pen. They didn't even have to sign their name. He was nearly seventeen, dammit. He should've at least gotten one that wasn't a joke from Kiba or a pity one from Sakura

But who was going to send _him_ one, when practically every girl in the school (from the ages of thirteen to eighteen –and some student teachers) had their eye on Sasuke Uchiha –and-slash-or his elder brother?

"Quit your sulking," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Valentine's Day is so troublesome."

"You think every day is so troublesome," Naruto pointed out; gratefully hearing the bell and leaving Sakura to clear up since she had a free period next while he had biology. Shikamaru just chuckled and shrugged in admittance. "Are you sending any Valentines?"

"…I don't see why," he shrugged, as though it wasn't worth much thought. "Are you?"

"…I was thinking about it…maybe?" he admitted sheepishly, "I mean…I was going to send one to Sakura, but she'd probably just punch me…and she probably hopes that she's going to get one from Sasuke."

"Every girl hopes they're going to get one from Sasuke," Shikamaru scoffed, rolling his eyes and shoving his hands deep into his pockets lazily as the pair of them strolled towards their classroom. "Why does that even piss you off so much?" He instantly regretted asking when Naruto just made an aggravated noise.

"Because they just all follow him like he's so fucking special!" he exclaimed hotly, "And he treats them terribly! You saw him just before! He doesn't accept their gifts or even acknowledge them –it's just mean! And they love it!"

"…You hate him…because he's…mean to women?" Shikamaru deadpanned.

"Err…yeah?"

" –So it's not because he wins Most Valuable Player on the soccer team every year, constantly does better than you at school and usually kicks your ass at the dojo?" he commented with a small chuckle as Naruto pouted.

" –Hey, he does not _usually_ kick my ass," he protested, "…Its about fifty-fifty now, okay? And yeah; he's just too damn good, and too damn smug about it."

"Well fair enough," Shikamaru admitted, "…But don't hate on him because he's not accepting Valentines. It might seem heartless but it'd be worse if he accepted them and gave them hope." He actually had a point there, and Naruto hated that. He sighed heavily.

"_Plus_ he thinks I'm some kind of idiot!" he added darkly. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as they reached their biology class –the class where it just so happened, Sasuke and Naruto were lab partners.

None of their classmates could fathom why Miss Anko thought that was a good idea.

"Listen up, brats," Anko barked as soon as she entered the classroom. The room fell into silence almost immediately. Everyone was terrified of her. "I've got your last test results. Nara…" She pointedly dropped her books on his desk violently; jolting him from sleep, " –Fluking top of the class does not mean you can sleep in my class." He nodded to indicate that he understood, and promptly rested his head back down on the desk as Anko let out a snort and started handing out test papers.

"Inuzuka; stay behind after class; you're taking remedial lessons whether you fucking like it or not," she snarled –she wasn't one to dial back her language, either. Kiba shrank down into his seat. "Yamanaka; if you spent half as much time listening to my goddamn lesson as you do staring at Uchiha, then you'd be passing. Remedial for you too." Ino made a depressed noise and let her forehead fall against the desk in embarrassment. Sasuke ignored Anko's comment.

Naruto was crossing his fingers under his desk; desperately hoping for a relatively okay pass mark so he wouldn't have to take remedial lessons again. Anko was a harsh tutor.

"…Saved yourself this time, Uzumaki," she growled; flicking his test paper onto the desk, and a blessed C+ glinting up at him. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then his expression darkened as he looked over to Sasuke's paper and saw that it had a solid A scrawled up in the top right corner. Sasuke looked over at him and smirked; resting his chin on his interlaced fingers.

"Tch," Naruto scoffed; cramming the paper into his bag. "Smug bastard."

"And here I was, going to offer to tutor you," Sasuke mocked; turning to face the whiteboard.

" –Like I need _your_ help," Naruto snorted.

"You do," the raven sniffed, "…You're a moron."

"I am _not_," he growled back, " –I passed, didn't I?"

"Barely," Sasuke scoffed. Naruto glowered at him, "But if you don't want help staying out of Anko's remedial, then that's fine by me." The blonde glared viciously at him and refused to answer; starting to write down notes a little more aggressively than required.

Shikamaru and Kiba were sitting behind Sasuke and Naruto, glad to have a bit of light entertainment during the course of their torturous biology class. They were dissecting mussels and Naruto was taking a great deal of delight in poking at the shellfish with a finger and then shoving his smelly salt-water hands in Sasuke's face. The raven tolerated it for a moment before finally snapping and throwing a handful of it in the blonde's face when Anko wasn't looking.

Naruto spluttered almightily, and that of course, caused their little spat to escalate into all-out war –when their teacher wasn't looking of course. Shikamaru and Kiba just sniggered behind their hands (also trying to not attract attention), and the rest of the laugh giggled along with them; all knowing that Sasuke and Naruto's fights could sometimes get out of hand.

Needless to say, but the end of the class, Naruto was drenched from the waist down and somehow Sasuke had come away with nothing more than a slightly sea-salt-smelling hair-style that made all the girls coo even more because he apparently looked even dreamier than before with wet hair.

As soon as they were out of the classroom, Kiba started laughing his head off at Naruto squelching out and then proceeding to empty the water from his shoes.

"Fucking…dammit…" he grumbled.

"You started it, moron," Sasuke reminded him with a superior smirk.

"He _always_ starts it," Kiba rolled his eyes. "On the bright side, we've got gym class last, so you can wash off the smell of rank-ass sea water in the showers." Naruto just glared at him; trying to wring out the ends of his uniform pants as best he could.

"Uhh…Sasuke...?" Naruto suddenly asked; having been mulling over the raven's proposition during the course of the water fight. "Uhh…if you…if you're still offering to tutor me?..."

"I'm not," Sasuke replied smoothly.

"What?"

As explanation, Sasuke raised an eyebrow and gestured at his damp hair. Naruto's expression was rather pained.

"I was just playing," he complained. Sasuke ignored him.

"…If you want tutoring, then you're going to have to ask for it," he called smugly as he headed off towards their gym class. Naruto's hands clenched into fists in annoyance. Arrogant bastard! He wasn't going to _ask_ him to tutor him!

…But then again, he might not pass biology…

"Ahh! Sasuke! Fine!" Naruto exclaimed hotly; grunting out something that kind of resembled a sentence. Sasuke put on a condescending look.

" –I didn't quite hear that, moron," he called back.

"Please tutor me so Miss Anko doesn't kill me!" Naruto managed to spit out in a rush. Sasuke pondered for a moment.

"I'll think about it," he replied flatly and Naruto let out an aggressive snort and looked like he was going to go for his throat. Kiba and Shikamaru caught him and held him back as Sasuke just stalked off with a flick of his perfect hair and a dismissive wave accompanied by a scoffed, "Idiot."

"See?" Naruto exploded once he was out of hearing, "That's what I'm talking about!"

"…You threw dirty sea water in his face," Kiba pointed out.

"…He didn't have to dump so much on me…" Naruto grumbled crossly.

"It's your own fault," Shikamaru reminded him flatly and the blonde's shoulders slumped crossly; glaring at the raven up ahead, " –And Gai's probably going to have us playing soccer today." Naruto's eyes lit up competitively; burning with renewed fire at the prospect of getting another rematch against Sasuke. When it came to soccer, no one took the game more seriously than those two. It ceased to be just a game and became more like a battlefield. Actually…when it came to sports, the pair of them looked for any excuse for it to turn into war.

Shikamaru and Kiba just exchanged weak glances as Naruto squelched off.

* * *

"Some _help_ would be appreciated," a smooth voice called out from somewhere amid a large group of gushing young women. A platinum-haired man looked up from where he was lounging on a picnic table, chewing on a pen.

"You fucking hear something, Deidara?" Hidan inquired innocently.

"Nope," the blonde sitting on the ground retorted; scrawling something down on the red valentine he was working on, "Just the wind, yeah? And definitely not Itachi trying to run from fangirls, yeah. What've you got so far?"

" '_Dearest Itachi_'," Hidan read out in a flamboyant falsetto, " '_I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how hard I try. Whenever I close my eyes, I see you –which is really handy at night when I stroke my pussy and pretend it's your beautiful fingers…'_ –" Deidara promptly burst out laughing, as did the giant quarterback sitting at the table chuckling at the apparent misery of the raven-haired man trying to drag himself away from a mob of rabid women.

"If you weren't such a crass, incurable _jackass_, I might actually call you a poet, Hidan," Kisame smirked, "…Not, you know, romantic…but you sure have a…_way with words_."

" –He even cut out the swearing, yeah," Deidara sniggered, "That's how Itachi figured us out last year."

"…I think by now he suspects you two whenever he receives a sexually explicit valentine in class," Kisame pointed out. Hidan and Deidara exchanged glances and sniggered into their hands.

"It's still fucking hilarious," Hidan pointed out, "Fucking Uchiha gets the _shit_ embarrassed out of him. Best part of the fucking year. 'Cept the year this fucking cock-slut changed all mine to be about how I jerked off to him –and signed it with my fucking name." He violently kicked Deidara in the face and the blonde made an offended noise; swatting him with his heavy art folder.

"You fucking deserved that, yeah," Deidara sniffed, " –And I'm not a cock-slut; quit it!"

"Those fucking fangirls nearly _lynched_ me," Hidan snarled in annoyance, "I'm lucky I escaped with my good looks intact."

"Are you sure you did, yeah?" the blonde mocked; only to get kicked again. Kisame just snickered at the pair of them, "Oi! Fucking quit kicking me; asshole! It's hard to think of new things to embarrass Itachi with!"

"Hell yeah…" Hidan complained, "…We're starting to run low on material. Kisame; got any ideas?"

"Not really," Kisame shrugged. Hidan and Deidara didn't question his non-involvement. This was their little game, anyway. Every Valentine's Day, Itachi Uchiha would be hounded by women wanting to be his wife or bear his children or something like that –and his friends took great delight in trying to mortify the stoic raven with raunchy valentine's messages sent around school with the cupids.

Hidan and Deidara had to get pretty inventive with their valentines though –Itachi got so many that sometimes the cupids just dumped them on his desk. He was a highly sought after bachelor; even more handsome than his younger brother, Sasuke; more intelligent, and with a kinder, less icy disposition that made him a crowd (fangirl) favourite. Even more alluring was the fact that he'd never even had a girlfriend (and people had gone to great lengths to gain this information –Hidan never passed up a blow job). Apparently this fact seemed to make winning Itachi's love just that much more precious.

It never failed to amuse Kisame how much women chased Itachi –and to a lesser extent, Deidara. Not so much Hidan; he was a bit of an asshole –but in an alright kind of way. Kisame never bothered much with trying to find a girlfriend; none of them were interested, despite him being a star quarterback. For one thing, he was just so huge and intimidating; bulky and thick, with pointed teeth and a square jaw. Hidan said he looked like a shark. Kisame said he'd chuck Hidan in a dumpster if he said that too loud.

Hidan had continued to claim he looked like a shark; but very quietly.

Itachi, currently having resigned himself to not being able to get any study done, was casually leaning up against the railing of the stairs; engaging in polite conversation but refusing the gifts he was offered. Then, he crossed his arms and flicked his ponytail in that _way_ that the girls loved, and, as if it was some kind of beacon, his flock practically doubled in size.

"Jeez, he gets more and more popular every year, doesn't he, yeah?" Deidara commented conversationally; the three of them looking over to where it appeared that he had managed to gain the high ground on the stairs and was trying to calmly tell his stalkers –_pursuers_ –that he was currently not looking to date anyone –let alone father children.

"Yeah," Kisame laughed; rather amused by this –and the fact that the Uchiha was glaring over at them; obviously displeased that they were laughing at his expense.

" –Well…he is a pretty good-looking dude, yeah," Deidara admitted, "Must be hard for you being his best friend, when he's so popular with the ladies…and you're well…_not_." Hidan burst out in cackling laughter and Kisame's shoulders slumped.

"…I _am_ a little weird looking…" he admitted flatly.

" –Jeez, that bothered you more than I thought…" the blonde remarked in surprise, before sniggering behind his hand. "Okay; go rescue him…we have a calculus test in two days that he promised to help me with, yeah." Kisame rolled his eyes; ambling to his feet and stalking over to the crowd of females.

They all cleared a path for him –he easily towered above them –and he made it to Itachi with no difficulty.

" –Itachi has to go now," he informed them; gesturing for Itachi to lead the way back down the stairs towards his friends. They all whined in protest and tried to make him stay –but without approaching him due to their general fear of Kisame.

"Thank you, Kisame," Itachi remarked –as he always did; although Kisame noted that it was strained this time, since he'd been so long in 'rescuing' him this time.

"No problem," the bigger man chuckled.

"Aw…Itachi, you should stay with us," one of the young women sighed, "Where do you have to go?"

"Itachi has a previous engagement with a pretty blonde," Kisame informed them lightly, and suddenly the atmosphere became tense as the women all began muttering about who this mystery blonde was, and _why_ Itachi was meeting with her.

"…That, I did not appreciate so much," Itachi growled flatly, under his breath. Kisame just smirked his toothy grin that he always did when he was rather pleased with himself. "…I'm telling Deidara you called him pretty."

"I'll tell him you didn't correct me. You know how he gets off on your praise." Itachi's expression soured and he glared up at his best friend. However, his attention turned to Hidan and Deidara, who appeared to be sniggering behind their hands.

"If you two send me those awful valentines again, I will end you," Itachi vowed; yanking on Deidara's ear. The blonde cringed and glared at being treated like a child.

" –I'm honestly fucking hurt that you would think that we were such crappy friends," Hidan simpered; hand over his heart as he feigned misery. Itachi snorted and glared at him coolly. "Anyway…you have enough fucking fans as it is. Why the hell would we need to join their bloody ranks?"

" –Can we go study?" Itachi rolled his eyes -not believing him for a moment; grabbing his bag and beginning to stalk off towards the school library, "…Before they regroup?"

"Don't worry; as long as Kisame's here, he'll scare them off, yeah," Deidara teased, "He's like a scarecrow for girls, yeah!" Itachi looked back over his shoulder and gave Deidara a threatening glare to shut the blonde up.

"I can handle Deidara," Kisame chuckled, "He doesn't mean harm."

"You shouldn't have to deal with it," Itachi sniffed flatly as Deidara jogged to catch up and looped an arm through Itachi's teasingly. The raven rolled his eyes irritably.

"Itachi, Itachi; you should send someone a valentine this year, yeah," he exclaimed, "It's our last year at school –you never send them!"

" –He's just scared he'll get rejected," Kisame teased.

"I am not _scared_," Itachi sniffed.

" –Who would reject this face?" Deidara mocked; tugging on Itachi's cheek. "And Kisame; why don't you send one? You should start handing them out. Maybe then a pretty girl will actually send you one...yeah..."

"Touch me again, Deidara; I dare you," Itachi replied in an even tone. Deidara just stuck his tongue out at him.

"You know I don't care about getting valentines," Kisame pointed out.

" -Well, that's what you _say_, yeah..." the blonde rolled his eyes; not believing for a moment that Kisame didn't care. He was pretty sure that secretly, the huge quarterback was jealous of his friends for getting so much female interest -as much as Kisame insisted that he genuinely didn't care. Truly, Kisame didn't mind; but he did admit that it would be nice to actually be given one of those infernal little cards; just to know that there was maybe someone out there that was even a little interested in him.

" -Anyway, fucking Itachi gets enough of that sappy shit for both of them," Hidan sniggered, seeing Kisame rolling his eyes. "Just send one to all your fucking fans," he added, "It'll make their fucking year."

"Or they'll kill each other, yeah," Deidara snorted.

"Itachi'd only send one if it really meant something," Kisame chuckled teasingly, and Itachi immediately glared at him as Hidan and Deidara began mocking him about being a romantic. Kisame just shrugged with a smirk and averted his eyes as Itachi elbowed Deidara in the face.

* * *

True to Shikamaru and Kiba's predictions, soccer turned out to be more of a vicious one-on-one between Sasuke and Naruto. Most of their teammates had actually departed to the side-lines to let them do their stuff without anyone getting injured. The Sasuke fangirls in the class –and those who were in the classes near the field…or the ones with a free period; they were all cheering him on. This obviously irked Naruto to no end.

It was nearing the end of class, and Sasuke was winning by a goal or two; so of course, Naruto was trying his hardest to catch up, and maybe end things on a draw. But no; Sasuke wasn't allowing that.

"…Now that's just showing off," Kiba sighed, shaking his head and leaning back on his hands heavily as they watched Sasuke streak down the field in a blur; swiftly ducking away from every single one of Naruto's attempts at a tackle –resulting in the blonde finally plummeting face first into the dirt and Sasuke scoring as the ref decided to end the game. Naruto angrily looked up in time to see Sasuke smirking down at him.

For a moment there, he could see the Uchiha pause; his hand drifting forwards slightly –and Naruto's eyes softened; reaching up –thinking that Sasuke was actually offering to help him up.

But then the Sasuke fan club swooped in; practically swarming on the raven –girls fawning on him and congratulating him on the game; Naruto getting pushed back into the dirt again. Dejectedly, he got to his feet; brushing the mud from his hair and agitatedly looking back over his shoulder to where Sasuke was barely visible –having been completely surrounded by girls all professing their undying love for him.

"Naruto?" Kiba inquired as Naruto just grimaced and kicked at the grass –stalking off to get changed.

Shikamaru had seen that Sasuke had been about to help Naruto up; the blonde's eyes lighting up at the gesture of familiarity; a sign that at least on the soccer field, Sasuke respected him –even just a little. But then the girls had swooped it; none of them even sparing Naruto a second glance. Shikamaru could hear Naruto's mutinous mutterings about Sasuke being a show-off bastard, as he stalked off to the changing rooms. Both of them were first-string players, but Sasuke always got the spotlight –always.

And since Valentine's Day was coming up soon; female attention was focused almost solely on the Uchiha brothers –even further from Naruto. Ahh, jealousy…

"Man, we should go after him," Kiba suggested with a yawn; cringing as feminine squeals broke out through the air; singing great praise for Sasuke. "You know how he gets. I don't get him though; sometimes he seems like he wants to punch him, and sometimes he seems like he'd be grateful for a handshake. What's his deal?"

"Who knows?" Shikamaru shrugged and then yawned mightily, "It's all rather troublesome."

"Agreed," Kiba admitted with a sigh, "It'd be nice if they could like, be nice for a bit. We might actually get to take part in gym class." He laughed at the sour look on Shikamaru's face. "You know what I mean though! They've been fighting for years. And maybe it would stop Naruto complaining about Sasuke for like...a day..."

"…Hmm…" Shikamaru mused; taking a moment to think it over, "Something nice…? Well…" He rubbed his shin with a small smirk, "Actually…I think I have an idea."

"…Will Naruto not like it?"

"…If he finds out."

" –So we're kind of tricking him?"

"…If you want to put it like that," Shikamaru shrugged.

"Totally count me in."

* * *

**Oh, Shikamaru always has a plan! What's he thinking? **

**[And Deidara and Kisame's conversation I kinda got the idea for from one of the "Conversations between Akatsuki members". Poor Kisame.]**

**I don't know why I'm loving writing Valentine's Day fics these days. This is sillier than "Looking for Love" but hope you enjoyed. Review and stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**xx K**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two! Shikamaru gets his scheming plans underway, underhanded though they may wind up being...**

* * *

"I don't know Shikamaru…isn't that kind of mean?" Sakura frowned to herself as she dealt with some particularly troublesome maths questions during a free period. She cursed low under her breath and scribbled out her working; locating a fresh piece of paper to start over.

"3.5," Shikamaru informed her.

"What?"

"Use 3.5," he repeated, nodding at the question. Her eyes widened as she found the use for such a number and groaned at not having been able to think of it earlier. "Mean? What makes you say that?"

"Sending Naruto a valentine from Sasuke?" she frowned, "I mean, it seems just kind of mean. Remember that time two years ago when Kiba sent one to him, and he got really excited about it and then didn't come to school for a week when he found out it was a joke?"

"Yeah, he was pretty upset about that," Kiba admitted with a wince, "But are you sure you're not protesting because you don't like the idea of someone _other than you_ getting even a _fake_ valentine from Sasuke?" Sakura turned slightly pink and glared at him; tossing a ball-up failed maths problem at his face. He batted it aside with a teasing grin.

"It'll be fine," Shikamaru assured her with a yawn.

"I don't get it though," she sighed, "What's the point in sending one to Naruto and saying it's from Sasuke? He's going to know it was us. And even if you make him think it was Sasuke, what's that going to do?"

"Maybe make them play nice," Shikamaru snorted in a bored tone

"Yeah…until they realise it was us, and then both of them hate us," Sakura sniffed, folding her arms, "I'm not convinced."

"My plan's got a part two," he assured her with a small smirk. "But I'm gonna need your help."

"What kind of part two?" she inquired curiously.

"We accomplish nothing in just sending Naruto a valentine _from_ Sasuke," he explained with a yawn and a small shrug, "_But_ if we can convince Naruto to send one to _Sasuke_ then we start getting somewhere."

"…_We_ send Naruto a valentine, saying it's from Sasuke…and we get _Naruto _to _actually_ send Sasuke a valentine…I still don't get it," Sakura frowned, "Then we've got Sasuke weirded out by Naruto being nice, and Naruto upset because his pride's wounded and no one loves him."

"That's harsh, Sakura."

"Sorry."

"You have a point," Shikamaru commented lightly, "But if Naruto questioned Sasuke about sending a valentine, Sasuke would deny it to his grave, right?"

"Obviously," Sakura shrugged.

"So, we just make Naruto think that when Sasuke denies it, he's actually admitting it. Or something to that effect. _He_ also knows that Sasuke would never admit to something like that."

Sakura and Kiba exchanged glances, trying to see the logic there. It wasn't really making sense, but this was Shikamaru, and he was renowned for his genius, both in his schoolwork and his scheming, when required. Sakura still looked a bit sceptical.

"There are so many problems with this plan," she sighed heavily, "What are you trying to do?"

"Make them be nice."

"Why do you care if they play nice?" she remarked, moving on to the next maths question, "They've been like this since forever."

"It's troublesome," Shikamaru replied flatly, "Amusing, but troublesome. Just trust me."

" –Naruto's in a bad mood these days, and it can get a bit tense," Kiba explained, rolling his eyes at Shikamaru's lack of real explanation, "And as his friends, we are honour bound to cheer him up. And it wouldn't hurt for him and Sasuke to get on sometimes. Other people get stuck in the crossfire. Naruto accidentally broke Lee's nose two days ago coz he was too busy focussing on beating Sasuke in a soccer match –"

"Is Lee okay?" Sakura asked in shock.

"Totally fine; he admired Naruto's enthusiasm," Kiba shrugged it off and she sighed.

"I guess it'd be nice if they got along," she sighed, "…Or if Naruto at least stopped complaining. But isn't there something in that friend code about _not_ manipulating your friends?" she added with a raised eyebrow.

"…We have to cheer him up; nothing in the rules about doing it fairly," Kiba shot back, "Chill out, Sakura; Sasuke's real valentine has to go to _someone_, and god knows, it could be you." He rolled his eyes and shook his head at Shikamaru as she lowered her head to continue with her maths problem.

"You don't believe that."

"Oh, I totally do," he assured her, again shaking his head at Shikamaru.

"Kiba, I can fucking see you."

"So are you on board?" Shikamaru inquired curiously.

"Tell me the plan," she sighed heavily, "But I think you're forgetting that Naruto would _never_ send a valentine to Sasuke; he's way too proud and claims to hate him too much to ever do that!"

"Exactly," Shikamaru smirked and Kiba nodded in agreement.

"I think you're wildly underestimating Shikamaru," he assured her and then frowned, "…Wait…Shikamaru, that didn't even make sense?"

* * *

_Uchihas are sexy_

_I love you, I do_

_Come back to my place; I'll prove it_

_And bring Sasuke too_

"Hidan, Itachi's going to _completely_ know that was you, yeah," Deidara rolled his eyes with a grumble, "…But it's genius, so it stays."

"Fuck yeah," Hidan smirked triumphantly, getting Deidara to write the poem into one of the cards in one of his various beautiful handwriting styles that, as an art student, he'd developed –although it was mostly for the specific purpose of Itachi not being able to recognise his writing.

"…Sometimes I wonder why you're failing English," Kisame commented flatly.

"Yeah; I fucking know, right?" Hidan snorted.

"Ahh…" he remarked dryly.

_Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poetry but I'm pretty; please have my babies, they'd be so beautiful._

"I like it," Kisame admitted, "Very to the point."

"What can I say, I've got a flair for fucking literature," Hidan smirked.

"Oh I wouldn't say that," he rolled his eyes.

" –What are you doing?" Itachi Uchiha's voice inquired narrowly as he entered the nearly-empty senior common room.

"Homework," Hidan lied terribly; cramming his drafted valentines into his bag innocently. Itachi didn't buy it for a second.

"You don't do homework," he remarked flatly, "…Do you even go to class?"

"Hey, I went to one today!"

"…How many were you meant to have?"

"…Three –_not_ the fucking point, Itachi," Hidan sniffed crossly; having managed to stall long enough for Deidara to shove the cards into his bag and perch himself on the desk as the complete picture of innocence. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Kisame, what have they been doing?" he inquired smoothly.

"…Homework," Kisame confirmed with a smirk. Itachi just rolled his eyes in exasperation and slung his bag down; toppling onto the couch in exhaustion. He appeared to be sweating slightly. "…I didn't know you took gym as a class, Itachi," he couldn't resist adding cheekily.

"I might as well," he growled into the couch cushions, "I spend the length of a class running away from those rabid females." He raised a foot in the air. "One of them stole my shoe! What are they going to use that for?" Kisame laughed as he looked over and saw Hidan and Deidara genuinely deep in thought.

"Too weird-shaped to shove up their pussy," Hidan commented with a frown, rubbing his chin in concentration, "Maybe sell it to a dude so he can jack into it?"

"…Maybe it's a smell thing, yeah? Like, they get turned on by the smell?" Deidara suggested.

"Foot fetish?" Hidan offered.

" –Good call, yeah…" Deidara nodded, mulling over his possibility.

" –_I don't actually want to know_," Itachi groaned as Kisame sniggered and rolled his eyes; Deidara and Hidan smirking, having accomplished their daily task of making Itachi uncomfortable.

"Seriously, Itachi, just fucking pick one of those bitches and be fucking done with it," Hidan snorted in a bored tone, "She'll be over the fucking moon and the other sluts can get over themselves. _And_ you'll have a sweet pussy to be fucking whenever you want." Itachi sat up and rolled his eyes at Hidan's crude language. "Dude, you literally have tight bitches swarming on you. You could have a different chick every week! You're fucking ruining it for the rest of us. Selfish, is what you are."

"You're a jackass," Itachi reminded him; shoving him in the face playfully as he grabbed his chemistry textbook and took a seat at one of the desks to start on his homework. Hidan just sniggered.

"I know, right," he chuckled, "That's why I have to settle for little bitch-men like Deidara." He yanked Deidara's hair, and wound up on the floor as the blonde punched him in the gut.

"For the record, I have never, and will never sleep with him, yeah," Deidara growled, "Mostly because I'm into females –but yeah, Hidan, you're a cock."

"You are what you eat, I suppose," Kisame remarked mockingly. Hidan glared at him.

"Yeah? Well, you must…eat a lot of tuna…_Fuck that was lame_ as shit," he grumbled from the floor; Deidara cackling at his awful comeback, "…But seriously, Itachi? Why don't you just date someone? It'd stop them fighting over you."

"Would it really?" Itachi commented flatly, "I have the feeling that it would just cause the others to become even more violent."

"He has a point," Kisame admitted, "They're pretty volatile."

"Send an anonymous valentine then, yeah," Deidara suggested with a grin, "You've never sent one before; so you should this year. You too, Kisame!" Kisame let out a short bark of laughter.

"No thanks," he snorted, "There's no one really I'm interested in." He looked over to Itachi to see the raven genuinely thinking about what Deidara had said.

"…What would I even write?" he mused; almost to himself, and immediately, Deidara and Hidan were on either side of him; ensuring that there was no way he'd be able to get his study done in peace.

"So there _is_ someone you want to send one to?" Deidara pestered cheekily, "Who is it? Do we know them?"

"This is a hypothetical situation," Itachi assured them crossly.

" –Who's this hypothetical person?" the blonde persisted.

"…Someone I've…for a while," he mumbled. Hidan and Deidara's mouths fell open in astonishment.

"You've had a crush? Since when?" Hidan exclaimed, "Itachi, I'm fucking hurt that you didn't tell us. We're your best friends!"

"…I don't know about that…" Itachi rolled his eyes; looking over at Kisame who just smirked unsympathetically; taking advantage of the two head-cases being distracted enough for him to start on his biology work.

"Are you gonna sign it, yeah?" Deidara inquired curiously, "Seriously, who is it? Pretty? Cute? Sexy? What's your type? Do you even have a type, Itachi?" He frowned to himself, "…Man, I kinda always thought you were asexual, yeah."

"I'm sorry to shatter such an illusion," Itachi deadpanned.

"So have you ever had a wet dream, yeah?"

"_Kisame, could you please remove them?"_

" –Sorry, Itachi; I save you from fangirls, not your friends," Kisame called back; not bothering to look up from his work, but knowing that the Uchiha was glaring at him.

"Was that a yes?" Deidara hissed, "Hidan; that was a yes, yeah?"

"Totally," Hidan smirked, "So, who was it about?"

" –Go away, you guys are no help," Itachi snorted.

" –They're totally normal," Deidara assured him comfortingly, "I mean, like, Hidan did have this weird one where Kisame –"

"Fucking _jeez_!" Hidan snapped; swatting the blonde in the chest with Itachi's chemistry textbook as Kisame openly sniggered; looking over at the other three with his chin rested in one hand. Itachi looked like there was nothing more he'd rather do than slink under the desk with his chemistry book and never be seen again.

" –But seriously, it was super weird," Hidan admitted, "No; come on, Itachi –don't go! We'll be good; cross our fucking hearts!" He ruined the vow by cackling wickedly at the end –for which, Deidara shoved him roughly.

"You two are animals," Itachi sniffed with what looked like the beginnings of a pout as he got up from his seat.

"…Uhh…have you seen Kisame?" Hidan chuckled.

"I'm going to the library," Itachi declared dryly; grabbing his things and stalking from the common room, still in only one shoe. The door clanged shut behind him.

"Wait up, Itachi!" Kisame hollered; trying to not laugh, "Guys, that was mean –he wanted your advice –god knows why; your valentines are shocking." Hidan and Deidara exchanged guilty looks and sighed.

"…Fine," Hidan sighed, "…We'll send him one nice one." Deidara apparently agreed that this was an acceptable apology. Kisame chuckled heartily; looking out the window and seeing that Itachi was waiting for him to join him for the trip to the school library.

"Yeah; a nice one, to show him how lucky he is to have friends like us, yeah," Deidara added.

" –Well, make it stand out, or it might just get binned with the rest that he thinks are from you guys," Kisame reminded them with a smirk.

" –But that's the genius thing; he won't fucking expect a nice one from us!" Hidan reminded him, "I'm a fucking thinker, Kisame!" Deidara elbowed him in the gut.

"Go to class, you bloody moron," Kisame chuckled; waving them off and slinging his bag over his back; heading off to meet Itachi –who was apparently already drawing fangirls to him.

"Would you like me to carry you?" he added cheekily, having noticed that the Uchiha had removed his shoes and now his socks were rather dirty.

"That will not be necessary," Itachi sniffed haughtily, but Kisame heard him chuckle slightly as they wandered through the school. "…Would you seriously do it?"

"…Probably, if you asked me to," he laughed, and then started shooing away the girls that were slowly sneaking closer and dropping into line behind them. "Come on ladies, back away; you know the drill," he sighed. "No restraining orders this year, okay?" Itachi chuckled to himself.

"Thank you, Kisame."

* * *

It was fourth period of yet another new day, and Naruto was irritated. He'd spent much of the previous few days secretly keeping one eye trained on Sasuke; just trying to figure out which females he interacted with most, just trying to identify who this mystery valentine could be going to! It was infuriating. So far he'd come up with zilch. Well, his detective skills weren't exactly stellar.

There was no one.

He treated them all the same. Even Sakura and Ino, who he'd known since he could practically walk, he regarded with the same, uninterested mask and just shoved his hands in his pockets whenever he was offered anything.

But he had taken one of those red cards –so there had to be someone it was going to.

Maybe it was someone who he interacted with least? Maybe he was just playing secretive. Maybe he liked a girl that played hard-to-get as opposed to throwing herself at him? Maybe he could ask Sasuke? No…he'd definitely say it was none of his business and probably gloat over Naruto not knowing.

Ugh, there were too many possibilities and too many options. It could be any girl in the school! Annoyed and burdened with his incurably curious nature, he buried his face in his book; hoping that maybe the science in the textbook would be magically absorbed through his skin and into his brain.

"What's this that you were saying about Sasuke?" Kiba's voice suddenly became rather audible from somewhere downstairs in the library. Naruto's ears perked up at the sound of his voice and the mention of Sasuke's name; peering down from the upstairs study desks and seeing Sakura with Shikamaru and Kiba down there.

"Ssh!" Shikamaru hissed, "He might be around!" Oh, this had definitely caught his interest.

" –Who?" Kiba whispered.

"Naruto; ssh, and come with me!" Shikamaru growled; looking around. Naruto ducked out of sight, and peered down through a gap in the railing to see Shikamaru gesturing for them to head deeper into the library. What could Shikamaru be talking about? How very interesting!

Abandoning his text books in favour of something much more worthy of this time, he slunk down the stairs and headed towards the non-fiction section. He ducked down low behind the book stands as he heard whispering.

"What are we doing here?" Kiba whispered quietly.

"We didn't know where Naruto was," Sakura informed him quietly, "And he doesn't come to the library, so…"

"What's this about?" Kiba frowned, "You said something about Sasuke –"

"Ssh!" Sakura and Shikamaru hushed and he clamped both hands over his mouth. Naruto could see their feet on the other side of the stacks. "We…Shikamaru…Sasuke gave his valentine today."

"What?" Kiba whispered, "Shit."

"He gave it to me," Shikamaru sighed, "And…it's troublesome, but I kind of saw the name."

" –Don't tell me…" he breathed.

"Yeah," Sakura remarked bitterly, "…It was Naruto."

_What_?

Naruto promptly stumbled backwards and knocked an entire shelf-worth of books over. He cursed under his breath; seeing the feet moving. Quickly, he made an escape to the next stack over and appeared to have avoided discovery.

_He needed to hear more of this_!

"You're fucking kidding, right?" Kiba hissed.

"I wish I was," Shikamaru muttered, "I don't know what to do."

"Why are you telling me?"

" –We thought you'd know what to do," Sakura explained, "You're like, Naruto's best friend, after all."

"How am I meant to know what to do?" Kiba hissed, " –Are you _sure_ it was Sasuke?"

"I've known him since I was seven. I know what Sasuke Uchiha looks like," Shikamaru deadpanned, "It was him, and it was Naruto's name."

" –Why didn't you read the message?" Sakura whispered, "I mean…maybe it was a…a hate valentine?" Naruto's mood soured at the suggestion, but the thought had crossed his mind just then.

" –Sasuke Uchiha has sent one valentine ever," Shikamaru snorted, "You think he'd use it on a hate valentine to Naruto?" There was silence for a long moment.

_It's a joke. This is a joke_, Naruto growled inwardly.

"It's a joke," Kiba snorted, voicing those thoughts aloud. "It has to be, right?"

"A lot of effort and secrecy for a joke," Shikamaru pointed out, "And come on…maybe it's not so unreasonable? Naruto's the only person Sasuke tolerates…he puts up with his shit better than a lot of us –"

"That's true," Sakura had to admit.

" –He even respects him," Shikamaru added, "He offered to tutor him, and always teases him –admit it; Naruto's the only person that Sasuke's ever been even _kind of_ friendly with."

"Way to rub it in, Shikamaru," Kiba elbowed him, reminding him that one of Sasuke's fangirls was in their midst.

"It's okay, Kiba…" Sakura sounded upset, "…I mean…Sasuke never really showed much interest in girls, I suppose…" She sighed heavily, "I still can't believe it…So…what do we do, Kiba? Tell Naruto?"

"Why would we tell him?" Kiba scoffed, "He'll just think it's a sick joke and punch him!"

"Well, if we warn him, then maybe we can give him time to think about it…and consider Sasuke's…_feelings_…" Sakura's voice stammered slightly.

"You think Naruto would be able to handle something like this delicately?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Come on…And I mean, this has got to be a big step for Sasuke…" There was a long pause.

" –And what would Naruto say?" Sakura agreed with a sigh, "I mean, I bet he couldn't even find something nice to say about him; he's never nice to him. I just…don't want Sasuke's feelings getting hurt…Naruto's pretty blunt. He might confront him!"

"Oh fuck," Kiba facepalmed, "That'd be the worst. Like Sasuke would ever _admit_ to sending him a valentine –especially if Naruto was just going to be a dick about it. Fuck, this isn't good. Do we tell him, or just…not tell him?"

"We were hoping you'd be able to tell us," Shikamaru commented dryly. Kiba mulled this over for a while.

"Well…if it was anonymous…it might not matter," he hissed urgently, "Naruto might just think it was some girl!"

"That'd be tough on poor Sasuke though," Sakura pointed out, "…He's anonymously telling Naruto how he feels about him…and he's just going to keep on thinking that Naruto hates him! It's so sad. We should tell him; maybe he can –"

"No," Shikamaru argued, "He's too proud for that! He wouldn't admit that there's anything he likes about Sasuke; and he'd probably just hold this confession over him and use it against him –and to make all the fangirls jealous. I think we just leave it. Let him think it's a girl. Sasuke's a man; he can handle it." The pair of them looked over at Kiba to be the deciding vote.

"…We're not telling him," Kiba shook his head quietly, "I mean, we're friends with him, and all…but we can't do that to Sasuke. We can't _out him_ like that. Imagine the backlash…and the girls would _kill_ Naruto if they found out that Sasuke liked…" He left the sentence hanging and they all sighed.

"Okay…then…we just…" Sakura stuttered, "I guess we just…pretend we don't know?"

"I guess so," Kiba shrugged, "I mean…it's only a few days until Valentine's Day…Shit…I'm gonna feel real bad when they read out that valentine and Naruto gets his hopes up and Sasuke ends up fucking crushed when the idiot gets excited that he got something from a girl…It's probably got how he really feels –bet that bitchy attitude's just a cover, too." All three of them sighed heavily; Sakura sounding decidedly put out.

"…I can't believe he'd choose that idiot over me," she murmured.

"Come on, let's go find him; I think Naruto wanted to do some physics homework," Kiba muttered and they nodded in agreement. Naruto immediately ungainly dove out of sight as they scuttled past him; completely missing their triumphant looks but catching a few brief snatches of their exit conversation. But that wasn't what was currently going through his head.

He just sat there for a long moment; dejectedly looking at the books laid out in front of him.

_Sasuke liked him_? Sasuke Uchiha, AKA _the bastard_, liked him?

_Sasuke was sending _him_ –the very male moron_ –_a valentine_? Not one of those pretty girls. _Him_.

If he was being honest, he thought it was a joke –whether by Sasuke, or by Shikamaru and Sakura. But like Shikamaru said... it seemed like a lot of effort to go through for just a joke. And Sakura had sounded so genuinely upset, and Shikamaru was usually too lazy for pranks. So…maybe…maybe it was true…

"…They should just tell me," Naruto snorted, "I wouldn't make _fun_ of him –" Well…that wasn't entirely true. Okay, so he would've definitely lorded it over the fangirls…and maybe made a bit of fun of the Uchiha –but wouldn't he be a bit entitled to? After all, Sasuke was an asshole –

_Bet that bitchy attitude's just a cover_.

What if it was just a cover?

Shit. Dammit! If they thought they had it bad; _he was the one actually getting it!_ He'd never been confessed to _by a girl_ before –let alone a guy –let alone his arch enemy! And if it was an anonymous valentine –which it would be –how did he pretend he didn't know who it was from? He gripped his hair tightly as he fought internally with himself.

Sasuke…liking him? Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha. He really couldn't grasp this information!

Maybe…maybe he could talk to him; confirm it?

No…he'd deny it. Naruto would deny it if it was him. He'd deny it to his damn grave. Unless Naruto pretended to confess –hence forcing Sasuke to confess…

But if it wasn't true, then that would be mortifying for _him_…and it was a bit underhanded, in any case. He pouted.

Why were his friends so _right _about him? If he found out it was Sasuke, he probably _would_ have thought it a joke and punched him; probably hated him even more for having the gall to pull something like that. And did they say he was too _proud_ to admit something nice about Sasuke?

Tch, he could do that!

…

Okay, it was going to take some work. Maybe he could plan a…how did one plan a speech in response to an anonymous valentine? GOD; _curse this curious nature. _He wished he hadn't heard! But then he would've wound up hurting Sasuke more…and…this was too much. His brain was hurting and his chest was hurting and the world was spinning a little bit. Too much was going through his head.

Okay.

Naruto let out a long breath to calm himself; having realised that he was maybe hyperventilating slightly. The exhale didn't do much to help. Shit; what did he do? He wasn't good at this kind of thing! Usually Shikamaru would know what to do…but clearly he didn't.

He had time. Valentine's Day wasn't here yet. One step at a time, Naruto, he reminded himself. The planning a rejection speech and figuring out how to prove to his friends that he could _totally_ be nice to Sasuke could come later. Right now, he had to treat this like a rumour; just a little whisper in the grapevine. Until it was more than just that, he couldn't bring himself to believe.

So, step one.

…Somehow, short of flat out asking, confirm that Sasuke Uchiha liked him...

* * *

**Oh Shikamaru, you are too schemy (that's not a word...) for your own good -or for Naruto's it seems. You know too much. Or is Naruto just too predictable? Perhaps both? **

**Well, despite initially being conflicted about this plan, Sakura's on board. Will the ends justify the means...? And what will Naruto decide? **

**[FYI ****_Much Ado About Nothing_**** is my favourite Shakespearean play. I've done something like this before with "Some Cupid Kills with Arrows, Some with traps" and kind of wound up doing something similar with this one (so I do apologise for that). But the story is different! Oh the scheming, though.]**

**See you next chapter. Review? **

**xx K **


	3. Chapter 3

There was a wet, squelching noise and Naruto immediately covered his head with his hands and recoiled dramatically in case of return fire. The expected attack arrived in the form of verbal assault, rather than the physical, which was what he'd been expecting.

"_What_ is your problem today, moron?" Sasuke snapped irritably, wiping the so named 'eyeball-juice' off his cheek and gingerly removing the punctured sheep's eyeball from his collar, where it was leaking more of the eyeball-juice onto his shirt and skin. He tossed the ruined (and failed) dissection onto Naruto's tray and glared at him, demanding an answer as to why he was now covered in less-than-hygienic fluids.

"Uhh…I well…" Naruto stammered as he lowered his hands since Sasuke apparently wasn't going to throw any animal tissue back at him. "…I'm not very good at dissections?" he offered as a very weak excuse for why he had been poking at the sheep's eyeball with a skewer, hooked it onto it and accidentally-on-purpose sent it flying into his lab partner's face.

"…What are you, five?" was Sasuke's haughty retort, making a disgusted noise as he cleaned himself up. "Seriously, are you trying harder than normal to piss me off?"

"No, I would never," Naruto snorted sarcastically, even though this was exactly what he was trying to do today. Shikamaru had said that Sasuke tolerated him more than anyone, and he was willing to see how much truth there was to this claim.

…Too much truth, it seemed.

" –Can you help me?" he inquired suddenly.

"Why would I help you?" Sasuke snorted; gesturing at his ruined school polo. Naruto pouted and looked away, feigning reluctance.

"…Because…I can't…do it…" he mumbled. Even though he wasn't looking at Sasuke, he could tell that the Uchiha was wearing a smug smirk of superiority at Naruto actually having admitted that there was something that Sasuke was better than him at. He was pretty sure he could've struggled through the dissection by himself, or gotten Shikamaru's help, but he wanted to see if Sasuke would…

"Fine," the Uchiha snorted with a heavy sigh, grabbing a fresh eyeball with a pair of tweezers and tugging Naruto's tray closer to him, " –Watch closely, because I'm not showing you again, got it, you idiot?"

"…Who're you calling _idiot_?" Naruto grumbled automatically. Sasuke gave him a sharp look and he clamped his mouth shut. Okay, so biology wasn't his best class…

The raven grabbed his scalpel and quickly showed Naruto the best way to do it so that he managed to cleanly cut it instead of winding up with a punctured mess. Naruto half watched and half mused to himself about this situation.

…Sasuke constantly claimed that he was a moron –that was just simply a fact. He also claimed that he was a no-hoper not worth his time.

But he would always help him. Always, even if reluctantly or pretending to be reluctant.

Today, Naruto really had done his damned hardest to try and piss him off. He'd spilt PVA glue in Sasuke's hair in physics, and stolen his calculator in maths and thrown paper at him all through English –all of which had resulted in the other boy getting progressively more annoyed at him; throwing things right back and causing Naruto to get in trouble.

And just then, there was the mushy eyeball to the face, but Sasuke still agreed to help him in class. It was truly, truly puzzling, and Naruto was finding it a little unnerving. Resting his hand in his chin, he just stared at Sasuke for a moment as the raven continued with his own dissection; muttering something about Naruto being thoroughly irresponsible and a complete idiot.

"What's the problem now?" Sasuke huffed in annoyance; not bothering to look up. Naruto blinked in surprise. "…You're staring. What's. The Problem?"

"…Nothing," Naruto lied lamely, averting his gaze and staring down at the dissection in front of him; turning the halved eyeball over with a pair of tweezers, "...Just…why do you always help me?" Sasuke looked a little startled at the question but simply shrugged. Naruto was a little surprised himself, that they were actually kind of having a conversation.

"…If you start failing, you'll lose your spot in the first string," he replied, "And I don't concern myself with second-rate players." He obviously saw Naruto's confusion at the statement and scoffed with a small smile, "…Idiot." The blonde just stared again. That...he didn't understand.

Naruto frowned to himself, trying to make sense of the reply, and then, the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a compliment. Sasuke currently thought of him as better than a second-rate player -if he didn't, then, like he'd said, he wouldn't concern himself with him. They could go head to head in gym class because he saw him as worthy of his time. He wanted to keep playing with him and against him.

A small grin spread across Naruto's face in understanding as he toyed with his dissection tray. He quickly flicked a look over in Sasuke's direction and saw him chuckle to himself as the blonde finally clicked.

"…I think…you're actually an alright guy, Sasuke," he commented conversationally, a little surprised that those words were leaving his lips.

"Who said I care what you think?" came the retort and Naruto felt his hackles rising again. God, did he always have to be such an asshole about _everything_? Jeez, he was just trying to be nice…and then he saw that the raven was actually still kind of smiling.

For some reason, Naruto's anger didn't feel as…_angry_ as normal. Maybe it was because he was kind of getting warm fuzzies from the fact that Sasuke-fucking-Uchiha, the bane of his existence for god knows how long –and his greatest rival in all things –had just given him a compliment, and it was about his soccer skills. Naruto had been trying to win his respect on the field for years, and now he finds out that he'd actually had it the whole time.

Nothing could ruin his mood.

And that apparently became rather obvious.

"…What're you grinning about?" Kiba inquired curiously as they relaxed during lunchtime that day. They were lounging on the steps in the school courtyard; watching Sakura, Shikamaru and Ino sitting at the Valentine's Day stall across the concrete quad.

" –Huh? Oh nothing," Naruto shrugged as he sighed; looking over at that damned stall. That's right –the whole reason he was borderline stalking Sasuke was because two days ago he'd found out that he was sending him a valentine…

Well, stalking was a harsh word.

It just so happened that he knew that Sasuke had chemistry next and would therefore be ambushed within sight of this particular spot just before the bell rang.

Clamping his hands over his face and leaning heavily against the stairs, he let out a small groan. Everything Shikamaru had said was turning out to be right! Sasuke respected him. He tolerated him. The whole 'being friendly' part he wasn't too sure about, because Sasuke didn't seem _friendly _towards anyone…but this was enough to bug him slightly. Maybe it was all true? Maybe this wasn't some stupid idea of a prank?

Right on cue, a few minutes before the bell rang, Sasuke Uchiha made his appearance, obviously having come from studying in the library during lunch. Hands tucked in pockets and signature scowl plastered across his pale face; he looked the epitome of cool –at least to his fangirls, who suddenly swarmed.

"Ugh," Naruto muttered aloud. Kiba raised an eyebrow.

"Still hating, huh?" he commented casually, "But you guys were getting on so well in biology!"

"Shut up," he snapped flatly, "We were not! He just _helped_ me."

"Tch, you're the only one he helps," Kiba muttered, "He always refuses my help and says to ask Shikamaru; but the lazy-ass is always asleep. I don't know how the hell he gets any work done!" Naruto chuckled awkwardly to himself. He'd noticed that, actually, for a while now. Sasuke flat out refused to help Kiba, despite him sitting behind them –and god help any of the females that tried to check answers with him; let alone ask for a study date.

_Ugh_.

" –Those poor chicks," Kiba was saying, almost to himself.

"…Yeah, he's just being a dickhead and giving them hope…" Naruto snorted vaguely, "He should just come clean…"

" –About what?" Kiba inquired, and Naruto remembered that he wasn't meant to know that Sasuke wasn't actually interested in females.

"Uhh…I um…Nothing?" he offered as a very lame answer. Kiba just looked at him suspiciously and Naruto chuckled nervously to hide his unintentional slip-up. Looking over at the Uchiha, he discovered that it really was kind of strange that no one had questioned his sexuality before. Now that he thought about it…Sasuke really did regard them as completely platonic beings. There were no eye flickers to the chest region; no sly looks at their asses; no attempt to get into their personal space.

Sure, that could be down to being a gentleman…or him not being interested in that _type_ of girl…but pretty much every type of girl was throwing themselves at him…and Sasuke being a gentleman?

There was only one thing for it.

"What are you doing?" Kiba inquired, trying desperately to hide a trace of amusement from his voice as Naruto got to his feet and brushed off some non-existent dirt from his shirt.

"Uhh…" for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Naruto didn't have an excuse, so settled with just stalking off towards Sasuke; grabbing his bag as he did so. Kiba chuckled and caught Shikamaru's eye across the quad. The pair of them smirked and Shikamaru nudged Sakura to pay attention to Naruto.

He managed to catch up to the raven as he pulled ahead of his fangirls; hands firmly in pockets to prevent gifts from being thrust upon him.

"Yo, Sasuke," Naruto chirped cheerfully; skipping into step with him and nudging him friendlily, "You got chemistry now?"

"…Yeah, what's it to you? Don't you have Economics?" Sasuke queried. Naruto was a little surprised. Sasuke knew his classes? Well, to be fair, they shared all except one…

" –Uhh yeah," he admitted sheepishly, finding himself walking elbow-to-elbow with him, something that was earning him jealous glares from the girls all around him. He was subtly manoeuvring his limbs away from their grasp –Naruto had to admit he was very good at it.

"So Sasuke, how about it? Want to come hang out after school?" an incredibly pretty girl offered; batting her eyes at him.

"No, hang out with me, Sasuke!" another exclaimed –which of course set them all off.

"I have plans," Sasuke informed them all coolly, and there was a loud upset chorus from the crowd. His pace quickened for a moment to avoid being wrapped in a desperate hug from behind by one of the dejected fans.

"What could be better than hanging out with me?" one of them complained.

" –Hanging out with _me_, obviously –"

"Who is it, Sasuke?" someone wailed, "Is she from another school? Are none of us good enough for you?" Sasuke looked like his patience was waning and he was about to retort with something less than polite, but Naruto saw an opportunity and he took it

"Hah, sorry to disappoint you ladies, but Sasuke's hanging out with me," he chuckled; slinging an arm around the raven's shoulders familiarly. He received a deathly glare from the Uchiha but just smirked at him, and was surprisingly, not shrugged off. There was again, another groan of disappointment, but he heard vague murmurs of relief that their darling Sasuke wasn't sneaking off with a girl from another school.

Naruto was getting a little claustrophobic amongst the crowd of girls and wondered how on earth Sasuke managed to deal with this _constantly_. Maybe he wasn't jealous of this…

Thankfully, the bell rang, causing the girls to disperse –an action which prompted Sasuke finally shrugging off Naruto's arm companionably slung around his shoulders. They'd arrived at Sasuke's chemistry class –the opposite side of the school from Naruto's Economics.

"Was there something you wanted?" Sasuke inquired darkly, brushing off his shoulders where Naruto's touch had been. The blonde glared at him and then pouted a little.

"I was just…wondering if like, you actually did want to…hang out after school?"

Sasuke almost stumbled and then looked annoyed at himself for being so ungraceful. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Naruto; adjusting his bag on his shoulder. The blonde fidgeted a little –not looking him in the face.

"…Tch, if you want," Sasuke remarked dismissively as he turned and headed towards his class. Naruto beamed at him as he saw black eyes look back at him with a small smirk. "Go to class, moron." Naruto just stuck his tongue out and flipped him his middle finger before realising that he had to sprint across the school to not be late.

As he ran, he was suddenly struck by the realisation that this was going to be the first time he'd hung out with Sasuke outside of school. Even the fact that he was doing this to see if Sasuke acted differently with him than with other people, wasn't daunting.

He was…actually…a little excited?

* * *

Kisame sighed heavily as another piece of scrunched up paper landed on his desk with a small tap. He looked up and saw that their teacher, Kakashi –he insisted that the seniors call him by his first name –was reading (probably porn), and hadn't seen. He glanced across the room and glared openly at Hidan, who had his feet up on the desk and was obnoxiously blowing bubbles with his gum.

_Open it_, Hidan mouthed –or something to that effect. The gum was partially obscuring his mouth. Kisame rolled his eyes and opened the note.

_Who's Itachi's bird_?

He looked up at Hidan, who was looking at him quizzically. He just shrugged. Hidan's expression darkened and he rapidly scrawled another note; biffing it across the room. Kisame caught it easily and flattened it out.

_How can you not know? Don't you wanna fucking know? _Kisame just turned it over and wrote a big, '_MYOB_' on the back; tossing it back. It hit Hidan in the face and he glared.

The next note read, _What the fuck is that supposed to mean_?

Kisame facepalmed. The guy was an idiot sometimes. His return note said something along the lines of, '_Mind you own business. If Itachi wants you to know, he'll tell you._' Hidan seemed to mull this over and his mouth widened into a smirk that was vaguely unsettling. He caught the next note that was tossed and actually blinked several times as he read over it.

_Are you gay? _

Another note landed on his desk and he slowly unfolded it.

_Because me and Dei think you are. No offense. _Kisame rolled his eyes dramatically and scribbled as a reply, '_I'm not having this conversation with you through notes in English class'_. Hidan chuckled to himself and Kisame saw him gleefully mouth, 'You are, aren't you?' across the room. Kisame sighed heavily and just shrugged noncommittally. Hidan let out a silent bark of laughter and crudely mimed giving a blowjob.

"Hidan, settle down," Kakashi commented lazily from the front of the class –not even looking up from his book. Hidan bit his lip with a grin and quickly wrote something down. Kisame returned to his essay; scrunching up the notes in annoyance.

What the hell? Deidara and Hidan knew?

So he was gay, yeah –not that he advertised that. In fact, no one outside his family knew, mostly because no one had asked. If no one cared to ask if he was into males or females, he didn't see any point in making special mention of it. People assumed he liked women, and (rightly) assumed that he was unsuccessful with them.

Another note landed on his desk and he glared in annoyance over at Hidan.

_I fucking knew it! Come on man, you could've told us! We knew there had to be a reason you didn't care about getting chicks and valentines and shit! We're fucking cool with it, man. Can I tell Itachi_?

Kisame's response? _I don't chase chicks because I'm not a sex-crazed maniac_.

Hidan actually laughed out loud; earning himself a pen thrown at him by their lazy teacher. He quickly tossed back: _You also look like a shark. Can we tell Itachi, please? He's gonna be fucking offended that his best friend didn't tell him something like that. Guess this takes all the no-homo out of you fucking him in the ass, right? _Kisame gave Hidan a bored look but the other boy seemed to think that his own joke was hilarious.

A little amused and annoyed at Hidan's commentary, and wanting to get this essay finished on time, Kisame chucked one final note back, _Yeah go ahead; tell him. I don't care. But if you make butt-sex jokes about us to his face I'll chuck you in a dumpster again. I don't want him being fucking weirded out_.

Hidan looked absolutely elated at this; even going so far as to salute him to assure him that there would be no inappropriate remarks made –not that Kisame trusted Hidan's fat mouth.

Well this was an unusual development. He'd never thought he'd be coming out to _Hidan_ of all people, in the middle of his English class, via crude notes. Then again, he'd never thought that Hidan and Deidara left their own little world for long enough to pay attention to things like him not having any interest in females…

Although, those two thrived on drama.

There was suddenly a bold knock at the door and Deidara stalked into the room with a red slip. Kakashi sighed, putting down his book for a moment to sign the slip that indicated that Deidara had been sent out of his chemistry class again.

"…Blow another student teacher up?" he inquired in amusement.

"Nah, just gassed the class out, yeah," Deidara sniggered, waving at Hidan with a smirk.

"Casualties?"

"None this time, yeah," he assured him, "This one girl passed out though. She'll be fine." Kakashi chuckled to himself and waved him over to sit in the spare seat next to Hidan.

"Deidara, if you really wanted to see your boyfriend so much, why don't you just swap into my class?" he inquired mockingly as the blonde slung himself down in the seat and promptly elbowed him in the cheek.

"He's not my fucking boyfriend, Kakashi," Hidan drawled in annoyance.

"…Yeah, Deidara's your girlfriend…" Kisame remarked flatly; smirking when the class burst out laughing and both Hidan and Deidara glared at him openly. He chuckled, not even feeling a little bit bad, even when Hidan pointedly spat his gum into the blonde's long hair.

"Are you fucking kidding, yeah?" Deidara exploded, gingerly tugging at the gum in disgust, "…Asshole!" The class sniggered again as Kakashi pulled his book out.

" –Keep the foreplay to a minimum in class, you two," he called out casually, "Kisame; swap with Konan? That way you three can whisper together and stop distracting the rest of the class with your infernal note-throwing." Kisame huffed in annoyance –he wasn't going to get any work done now –but Konan was already on her way to avoid the Hidan and Deidara show, so he didn't have a choice.

"…So…Kisame…You're into dick…" was Hidan's opening line as he sat down.

"…Say that a bit louder; I don't think the rest of the class heard you," Kisame muttered flatly, "_That was sarcasm, Hidan_," he added when it appeared that his friend was choosing to interpret that as him granting permission. With a weak smile, Hidan clamped his mouth shut again. The pair of them stared at him from the seats in front, eyes wide and excited about this news.

"Why didn't you tell us, yeah?" Deidara inquired curiously as he continued to tug gum from his hair.

"…The opportunity never arose," Kisame replied dryly.

" –So…which of us is hotter?" Hidan asked bluntly. He just stared at him. "You know…which of us would you prefer to fuck?"

"Neither of you," he deadpanned and they actually pouted.

"…Have you…you know?" Deidara queried vaguely. Kisame chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "…Had sex with a dude, yeah?"

"…Yeah."

" –_Goddam it Kisame_! This is stuff you're meant to be fucking sharing with your friends!" Hidan hissed, "You didn't have to come out to us, but _jeez _you're kinda fucking obliged to tell us who you fucked! Hell, Dei almost screwed a dude once –"

"Hidan, that was you, yeah," Deidara muttered, "…And we said _we'd never talk about it_!" Kisame's mouth fell open and he crammed a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from sniggering even louder.

"You guys didn't…" he managed to chuckle out.

" –No, we didn't," Deidara assured him darkly, "…We were…_really_ drunk…and Hidan –"

"I wanted to see what anal was like…" Hidan admitted with a shrug, "I'm fucking man enough to admit that. But, in all seriousness; I truly thought he was a chick." Deidara glowered at him. "…Come on man, that fucking hair…and the fact that you've got a vagina…"

"Shut the fuck up, yeah, I'm a dude, with a dick –and now the class is listening…" Deidara stammered; sinking down into his seat in embarrassment as he tried to become suddenly very small. Kisame let out another bark of laughter –earning a raised eyebrow from Kakashi. He'd thought about coming out to his friends on rare occasions, but never had he foreseen things going like this.

"You were gonna let me do it," Hidan pointed out.

" –_I was not_!" Deidara squawked in a hiss.

" –And I thought you guys' friendship was weird enough as it is," Kisame snorted.

"Nothing _happened_," the blonde insisted. "Okay, we kissed, yeah –but nothing else –I'm not into dudes. And if I was, Hidan would _not_ be my type, yeah."

"He'd totally be your type," Kisame chuckled into his hand, "…Anyway –why the hell did you think I was gay?" Deidara and Hidan exchanged glances; the blonde finally giving up and stealing a pair of scissors to cut gum from his hair.

"…Uhh…it started as a personal joke when you and Itachi went to the freshman dance as a pair, yeah," he shrugged, "And then uhh, we kinda noticed that you…didn't go out with girls…and never looked at them, really. And Hidan _may_ have found gay porn on your computer that one time you forgot to log off…" Kisame rested his face in his hands. He didn't get embarrassed a lot…but this was definitely the time for it.

"…I'm not one to judge a guy's taste in porn," Hidan shrugged casually, "Like, I've jerked off to things that I am not proud of. But yeah, it was kinda a dead giveaway." Deidara was nodding in agreement, though Kisame had the feeling that he'd heard about some of these things that Hidan wasn't so proud of.

"Mmm…It would be…" Kisame mumbled with a sigh; rubbing his forehead, "…Well, I guess you know now. You could've asked before now, you know? Seriously; you guys have been joking about this since freshman year? What other conspiracies do you guys have?" Hidan and Deidara frowned; obviously deep in thought.

"Well," Deidara admitted, leaning in close, his face mock serious. "…We think Itachi's a serial killer." Kisame snorted and pushed him to face the front so he could actually do his essay. God, did his friends ever take anything seriously? Although, he supposed it was for the best. Maybe he should be the one to tell Itachi? Who knew what Hidan would say...

* * *

"I guess he totally bought it?" Shikamaru commented as he and Kiba left Economics with Naruto and watched the blonde hurriedly begin crossing the school towards the chemistry block. "He genuinely thinks Sasuke's sending him a valentine?"

"Yup," Kiba shrugged, "He's been trying to figure out if it's true for a few days now…I mean, did you see what he did in biology today? That thing with the eyeball…" he burst out into chuckles at the mere memory of it. " –They're hanging out after school."

" –_Hanging out_?" Shikamaru repeated flatly, "Actually hanging out?"

"Yep," Kiba replied, "Weird, I know, right? But Naruto really wants to know if Sasuke's into him, so I guess this is…probably the best thing…"

"Yeah, I guess," he yawned, "…Only a matter of time now…"

"Well yeah –but it's only a couple of days until Valentine's," Kiba pointed out, "And Shikamaru? There's the problem with Sasuke's _actual_ valentine. What happens if that person finds out it was Sasuke and blabs it all over the school?" Shikamaru just shrugged as a response.

"Ahh, we'll deal with that when the time comes," he assured him, "Obviously the person doesn't know they're getting one (or they'd be boasting)…so they probably wouldn't know it was from him." Kiba mulled this over and admitted that this was a likely scenario.

"So, you're expecting that Naruto will send Sasuke a valentine?" he inquired.

"…What I'm thinking, is that Naruto really doesn't hate Sasuke as much as he thinks he does. And it's troublesome…but I think this little experiment will help him realise that."

Naruto bounced up and down on the balls of his feet nervously as he waited outside Sasuke's chemistry class. What should they do? He didn't know him all that well…maybe they should just go to the mall or something? Did people hang out at the mall these days?

"Oi, moron; what're you thinking so hard about?" the cold tone of Sasuke Uchiha's voice inquired of him. His head whipped around so fast he heard it crick and saw Sasuke's lips upturn in amusement. "…Coming?"

Without knowing why, Naruto found himself letting Sasuke take the lead on this one; just dropping into step with him as they headed towards the mall.

"How was chem?" he asked, since they appeared to be in silence.

"…My brother's friend gassed out three classrooms," Sasuke retorted and Naruto burst out laughing. "Karin fainted." That just made him laugh even harder. Eventually, even Sasuke began to smile a little bit; chuckling along as well.

"Oh my god; you're _laughing!_" Naruto snorted with a grin; genuinely amazed to see such actual mirth on the Uchiha's face.

"Tch, of course I can laugh," Sasuke rolled his eyes. Awkward silence dissolving, Naruto immediately broke into a play-by-play of his day –which admittedly, Sasuke had already been a part of. They reached the mall, and Sasuke bought some 'lunch' since he'd been studying at lunchtime and hadn't had anything to eat. He'd also, after seen Naruto looking longingly at a burger stand, deigned to buy him something.

"Wanna go to the arcade?" Naruto inquired with his mouth stuffed with food.

"That's disgusting," Sasuke scrunched up his face distastefully, "Eat with your mouth closed!" Naruto obnoxiously chewed loudly right next to his face and just laughed, scattering the Uchiha with crumbs when Sasuke shoved his face away almost playfully.

Three hours, ice cream and a whole lot of wasted pocket money later, Naruto was waving good-bye to Sasuke as the pair of them parted ways at the bus stop –Naruto pretending to be angry that he had been consistently defeated at air hockey.

"I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow," he commented with a small shrug. "…And then at practice after?"

"Yeah," Sasuke remarked distantly, and then added, in a strange tone, "…I'm staying late after practice tomorrow."

"And?" Naruto raised an eyebrow –wondering why he'd mention this.

" –And you could use the practice," the raven snorted. Naruto's mouth fell open; offended, but then realised that he had to sometimes read between the lines with Sasuke. Since they'd never really had _conversations_, he hadn't noticed up until now.

"Sure, I'll practice with you," he smirked gleefully; proud that he'd gotten the hint. Sasuke just did that infuriating smirk-smile that Naruto had actually begun to notice contained more smile than he'd originally thought. "Later, bastard."

"Moron."

It was with a slight spring in his step that Naruto began walking home. He'd been surprised, actually, with how much fun he'd had with Sasuke. He'd been a serious competitor on Dance Revolution –and sworn to punch Naruto's lights out if he told anyone, and they'd gotten the team high score on the zombie shooting game in the arcade. When he wasn't looking down on him, he was kind of alright. Distantly, he wondered why he'd never really tried to be his friend as well as his rival. Maybe because he'd always thought that Sasuke just thought he was so much better than him? Maybe because he'd always thought that Sasuke _was_ a stuck up asshole. And those beliefs had been somewhat revised today...

It was only as he was walking home that he remembered that he was getting a valentine from the guy. That thought made him pause in his stride, frowning to himself. Well, these past few days had confirmed at the very least that Sasuke treated him differently. It was _possible_ that the valentine was only going to say something not horrible. He didn't treat him like how…a person treated their _crush_ or anything. It wasn't weird when they hung out –and as far as he knew (not that he knew anything about male-male flirting), Sasuke hadn't made any passes at him.

So, maybe this whole valentine thing was fine? Maybe there wasn't going to be any kind of weird confession? Maybe it was just something, well, nice?

Something nice…

Actually…in that case. Naruto's face broke out into a grin as he mentally clapped himself on the back for remembering. In their freshman and sophomore years, his friends had just sent friend-valentines to each other; saying things that they liked and just generally trying to make their day. And Shikamaru and all that had said that he couldn't say anything nice about Sasuke? Well, he would show them!

He could send Sasuke a valentine –not sign it, because how embarrassing would that be –and just say something nice to him. Maybe…maybe he could even say that he was willing to talk to him? Because, well, if the valentine was something _other_ than just friendly…he had decided that he could hear him out. Not even Sasuke Uchiha deserved to be left hanging.

So, at lunchtime, he was going to collect one of those stupid little cards, and start thinking about what he was going to write to Sasuke. Firstly, something nice –that let him know that _he_ knew that he was kinda an alright dude, even if he didn't let everyone else see that. (His fangirls didn't count; he could do anything and they would still worship him.)

Secondly…how did you say, 'hey man, cool that you like me…I'm not into dudes, but we should talk about this because I'm not a homophobic asshole, and I think I might actually wanna be your friend' in a bit more of a classy way –without giving away that you had prior knowledge of said man's intentions before reading the fateful valentine?

Naruto wasn't so good with words. Maybe Shikamaru would know what to say? Shikamaru was really smart; he always knew how phrase things right -although he always tended to know more than he let on...

Despite the fact that he was going to have to write this damn valentine (and think of something _nice_ to write about Sasuke –god forbid), Naruto couldn't help but feel that tomorrow was going to be a good day.

…And it had absolutely nothing to do with playing soccer after school with Sasuke. Absolutely nothing at all.

At least, that was what he told himself.

* * *

**So, this is my first update of the New Year. Hopefully yours has been off to a good start. Actual Valentines will be here before we know it! **

**Our dear Naruto is making an effort with Sasuke -even so far as to be excited to hang out with him. Interesting, ne? And he's decided to send Sasuke a valentine. Will he find the right words? Will Shikamaru's plan go better than even he could imagine? Valentine's Day isn't far off! **

**And on a side-note, I can't tell if Hidan and Deidara are shitty friends or awesome friends. They're terrible...but I also kinda love them. **

**Much love: I promise to have the next chapter up soon if you're willing to read it! **

**xx K**


	4. Chapter 4

A spit ball went flying through the air and landed on the back of a pale neck with a dull, wet thud. Sasuke Uchiha's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as he wiped the saliva-soaked piece of paper from his neck and spun around in his seat to glare at the blonde sitting a row behind him –on a perfect angle for spit-balling.

"What's the answer to question four?" Naruto hissed in what he believed was a low tone –unknowing that his teacher was very aware of what was going on, and promptly ignoring it.

"Do it yourself, moron," Sasuke muttered back, turning back to the questions in his physics textbook. How was it even possible that the idiot was only up to question four? They only had to do the even numbers, for fuck's sake.

"You're so _mean_!" Naruto whinged; loud enough for the people on either side of him –Choji and Shino (he'd been separated from Kiba for a reason) –to hear him. They rolled their eyes and Naruto saw Kiba sniggering from across the classroom. Quickly, he lined up another spit-ball, but that was when a paper plane landed on his desk. He looked up in astonishment to catch Sasuke turning back to his work with a roll of his eyes.

Hurriedly, he unfolded the paper and his mouth fell open. It was the page from the physics textbook they were working in. Sasuke apparently did his working on the edges, and though he hadn't left any answers for Naruto, he'd left the working.

_Figure it out yourself, idiot_, was scrawled at the bottom of the page. The blonde chuckled to himself and then pouted playfully.

"Bastard," he grumbled flatly, to which everyone who was present, swore on their lives that they heard Sasuke laugh. Of course, no one else believed them.

When the bell rang for lunch, Naruto caught up with Sasuke while he was getting his bag.

"Hey bastard, wanna come sit with us today?" he inquired conversationally, "We're gonna shoot some hoops up on the court?"

"We have biology homework," Sasuke pointed out coldly.

" –That's due tomorrow," Naruto reminded him; waving away the excuse flamboyantly.

"I'm not letting you copy."

"Well _fine_," he sniffed, "…I'll just copy from Shikamaru. Come play. It'll be fun."

"I doubt that," Sasuke snorted haughtily as he shouldered his bag, but Naruto was already dragging him by the sleeve over to where Shikamaru and Kiba were waiting for him.

" –Sasuke's coming with," he informed them in what he hoped didn't sound like a triumphant kind of tone. He was determined to show the rest of them that he could be nice to Sasuke; and that Sasuke was in fact, worth being nice to.

"I'm not," Sasuke assured the other two, who just exchanged glances and shrugged, making no move to help him as Naruto started chirping on about classes earlier that morning. At some point, he released Sasuke's sleeve, and failed to notice that despite no longer being dragged along 'against his will', the Uchiha was following them up to the basketball courts where some of their other friends were waiting.

"I wasn't expecting to see _you_ here, Uchiha," Neji Hyuuga remarked in a tone equally as haughty as Sasuke's usual voice.

"I wasn't intending to be," the raven deadpanned, sounding thoroughly unenthusiastic, "I didn't know you played basketball too, Hyuuga."

"I earned first string in both soccer and basketball, but I had to choose just one," Neji shrugged simply, in that boasting-yet-merely-stating-a-fact manner that he seemed to have about him.

"Yeah, yeah, you're a prodigy, Neji," Shikamaru sighed heavily with a roll of his eyes as the Hyuuga continued running drills with Kankuro and Tenten, both of whom played for their school teams.

"Three on three?" Naruto offered as he spied Kankuro's little brother, Gaara, heading on over post art class; apparently covered in the remnants of clay. "Uhh…Gaara, what happened?"

"Deidara," Gaara replied flatly, tugging some still-moist clay from his vibrant, red hair, "…He started a clay fight." Naruto burst out laughing – which Gaara did not find amusing. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the blonde's overbearing laugh and shifted his weight impatiently.

"Oh yeah…um…Sasuke –team up with Kiba and Gaara while I steal Shikamaru's biology homework, will you?" Naruto chuckled awkwardly.

"Sweet, we got Uchiha," Kiba chortled as Sasuke let out an annoyed growl and slung his bag down next to where Naruto sat beside Shikamaru –who really couldn't be bothered playing.

" –Careful, Inuzuka; Uchiha's more suited to dribbling with his feet than his hands," Neji reminded him almost tauntingly as Sasuke and Kiba both pulled off their school polo shirts to stretch a little in their singlets.

"I'm sure the Hyuuga is most adept at handling balls in every which way," Gaara remarked in his staunch tone, a smirk twitching on his lips as everyone present began sniggering –apart from Neji, who just replied with, "Of course. People tell me I have very deft and skilful hands."

"I…I'm sure they do…" Kiba stammered, unsuccessfully hiding his chuckles behind his fingers. Neji frowned and looked at Tenten for explanation.

"It's a testicle reference, Neji," she informed him; biting her lip and trying not to laugh at him as his expression darkened and cheeks turned pink. His pale eyes turned to the redhead.

"Sabaku, you're going down."

"…Oh please, Hyuuga, at least take me out to dinner first." This time everyone (sans Sasuke and Neji) burst out laughing, and this time, Neji got the reference and glared even harder, bouncing the ball almost violently.

"If that's how you handle all balls, I don't think I'm going to li–" Gaara remarked with a smirk, but that was all he managed to get out before Neji started up the game –hoping to avoid any more sexual connotations flung his way.

" –What's the deal, Naruto?" Shikamaru inquired with a yawn as the blonde rifled around in his bag for the homework to copy, "Sasuke Uchiha?" He nodded pointedly to where the raven had immediately managed to steal from Neji and was apparently proving that soccer wasn't all he was good at.

"I just thought…" Naruto mumbled, "…Uhh, he doesn't really hang out with people…and we hung out yesterday, and he's…he's kind of okay?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at this. "Like, you should see him playing air hockey –jeez it made me mad; I just couldn't beat him! And did you see in physics today; he gave me the answers…well, not the answers –just the working, but that meant I could figure it out…and he _keeps_ calling me an idiot, which is _really_ annoying and –"

Shikamaru was suddenly reminded of how much Naruto seemed to enjoy the sound of his own voice.

And apparently he also enjoyed the sound of his voice relaying a long list of details relating to Sasuke. Shikamaru had always known that in a rivalry and an 'I have to beat him in everything' kind of sense, Naruto had always had Sasuke on the brain…but all of a sudden, it was all he could talk about.

'He's so fucking good at three-pointers –just like his stupid slide-tackles', 'did you know he got like a ninety-six on our last maths test?' 'Can you _believe_ he doesn't like ice cream?' He was amazed with how much information Naruto could spit out in the fifteen minutes it took for him to copy out their homework.

"Yo, Kiba," Shikamaru waved him over as Naruto immediately changed train of thought and began watching the game, itching to play. Kiba jogged over, kicking Naruto onto his face and flicking sweat onto him.

"Fuck you're gross," Naruto joked, tearing off his shirt and darting out into the game, quickly intercepting a pass between Kankuro and Neji. With a whoop, he darted off down the court; blasting past Tenten and scoring. As the other team yelled at him for cheating, he just stuck out his tongue and struck a pose. Neji promptly bounced the ball off his head and restarted.

"Pity we're not on opposite teams, bastard," Naruto chuckled; companionably elbowing Sasuke in the ribs as he passed, "I'd completely crush you." Sasuke wiped the sweat off his brow –it was a hot day –and smirked.

" –Bet I can score more points than you," the Uchiha commented lightly. Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the challenge and his face broke out into a grin as Sasuke stalked past him; roughly shoving him with his shoulder daringly.

"Oh here we go…" Shikamaru sighed, facepalming.

"You're on, bastard."

* * *

Itachi tapped his pencil on his desk irritably as he stared distractedly at the half-solved calculus problem laid out before him. He'd made an effort at it but for some reason, the maths wasn't coming to him. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his bangs. A quick glance at the clock informed him that it was almost the end of lunch. Crap, he was meant to grab lunch with Kisame at the mall…

Well, at least he'd gotten a couple of…

Ok maybe he'd gotten two questions done….

Kisame pushed open the door to the study room in the library where he was almost certain Itachi had holed himself up during lunchtime –probably to hide from Hidan and Deidara. The pair of them were being particularly obnoxious today; especially since Deidara had snuck some clay out of his art class and had decided to use it in the quad to start a food fight.

As predicted, Itachi was sitting at his desk, and barely looked up as he entered.

"Itachi, we have class," he informed him, making no mention of the fact that he had missed their standing lunch plans. With a sigh, Itachi stood and began gathering things up. For perhaps the first time in their friendship, Kisame actually felt a little awkward and wondered if he should say something.

"Um…Itachi?" he queried.

"Mmm?" the raven replied; looking up briefly and then back down to his calculus books. Kisame scratched the back of his head and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Kisame, quit fidgeting." His dark eyes flicked up once more, "If you have something to say, then say it. It's unlike you to hesitate."

" –Well," Kisame coughed and then sighed. He might as well say something. Whether or not Hidan had gotten to him first was irrelevant. Itachi was his best friend; he should probably tell him. "I don't know if…if you'd heard from Hidan…but uhh…" He shrugged helplessly, "…And I should've told you first –or earlier, or something, but I'm…gay." There was a long pause as Kisame snuck a questioning look up at the raven.

"I see," Itachi responded coolly and brushed past him. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Itachi don't be like that," he grumbled, stalking after him and catching up to the raven on the stairs, "Are you mad?"

"Why should I be mad?" he replied calmly, "It's yours to tell."

"I don't know; mad that I didn't tell you? You sound mad."

"I do not sound mad," he sniffed; his brow furrowing slightly this time. Kisame snorted. "Kisame, I am not mad. I'm just disappointed." Kisame groaned and facepalmed. That was so much worse.

"Please be mad," he complained, "Your disappointed voice is the worst…" He actually got a bit of a smile out of the Uchiha at that –but it was gone in a flash as they reached the door to the library. The building was clearing out since class was starting soon. "Are you disappointed I didn't tell you sooner? Because in all fairness; you never asked."

"That's not it," Itachi assured him, "I'm just disappointed that I was informed of my supposed best friend's sexuality by Hidan yelling '_Kisame's into fucking dudes_' in my ear pre-coffee this morning and then informing me that you had already done such things."

"Oh don't play the '_supposed best friend'_ card," Kisame rolled his eyes, "You never asked, so I assumed you weren't bothered either way –fuck, he told you everything?"

"In graphic detail, which I presume was greatly exaggerated and none of which you actually told him," Itachi replied with a small laugh. Kisame grinned toothily. "Truly, Kisame, I'm not mad. I was just…surprised."

"So you're not bothered by it?" he inquired tentatively.

" –I really think that with Hidan and Deidara as friends, it's rather difficult to be bothered by anything these days," Itachi deadpanned and Kisame broke out into barks of laughter. "Although I do confess, when Hidan said that to me, I assumed it was some kind of joke."

"Did you play along? Did he make any anal jokes –coz I told him not to," Kisame sighed heavily. "Did he use the 'well that takes the –'"

"_Well that takes the no-homo out of Kisame fucking you in the ass_ –yes, he used that line," Itachi replied; his face widening into a smile –that was, until they stepped out of the library and straight into a swarm of Itachi Uchiha fangirls.

"I…uhh…" Itachi stammered in a low tone, causing Kisame to actually stare at him. Itachi _never_ stuttered. "I'm glad you told me, Kisame. I apologise for missing lunch. I was…distracted."

"Glad to know you're thinking of me," Kisame laughed, seeing another of those rare Itachi-smiles gracing the Uchiha's face as he looked up at his tall friend. For a moment, the raven looked slightly guilty, but it was gone in an instant; leaving only that smile on his face. The girls all cooed in excitement –none of them had ever managed to get Itachi to smile like that at them.

"Are you cool with this?" he just had to ask; just to check –because it had to be strange to find out that your straight best friend wasn't actually straight. Itachi did look a little more…stunned…than he usually did. Maybe he was just trying to comprehend it? But, at least they were still walking arm-to-arm through the throng of females as they always had.

"Would I still be here if I wasn't?" Itachi rolled his eyes, "Though if you ever date Hidan or Deidara I must admit that I do not support that. They'd be borderline unbearable, and I don't want to hear details about your dick in another man's ass."

"I'm very, _very_ pleased that you assume I top," Kisame remarked with a smirk.

"Please, I do give you some credit," he snorted with a small smile. "Some."

" –And don't worry, I would never go for them. Not my type," he assured him with a shrug.

"Oh? And what _is_ your type?" Itachi inquired lightly.

" –Definitely short, scrawny nerds with black hair," Kisame joked, looking down pointedly on his friend.

At his words, Itachi promptly stumbled and nearly went reeling forwards into the sea of beasts. Only Kisame's grip across his chest prevented him from completely face-planting in a most un-Uchiha-esque fashion.

"Sorry," he apologised, "Too soon for jokes?"

" –I am not a nerd," Itachi snapped flatly, "I just care about what college I get into! And I'm not scrawny; I have an incredibly low percentage of body fat –the rest is muscle."

"And bone," Kisame snorted, pulling him back to his feet, "I'm the muscle here, remember?" To prove his point, he simply raised his hands up and the women around them all backed off.

"…If that's what you like to think…" Itachi sniffed, sticking his nose in the air, but laughing under his breath as the pair of them wandered off to class.

" –_Ladies, _would you please?" Kisame growled at them as he shooed them away. "Even you…yeah go on; two metre radius –you guys know the drill by now…" He grinned over at his friend; glad that Itachi was taking this news well –despite the crude manner in which he'd been introduced to it. Itachi just smirked back with a small nod as they walked side-by-side towards class.

"Thank you, Kisame," Itachi added, with a nod back to the crowd of girls that was falling behind as they peeled off on the way to their own classes.

"No problem," he shrugged, "What would you do without me?"

Itachi just smiled quietly to himself and didn't answer.

* * *

Naruto let out a groan of frustration as Sasuke successfully blocked yet another one of his shots at goal and tossed the ball back to him for another humiliating attempt.

"How the hell did you manage to get to the first string with a kick like that?" the raven goaded.

"Hey, shut up!" Naruto snapped, unable to come up with a better comeback since he was trying to figure out the best way to get the ball past Sasuke's guard. He didn't play goalie too much, but he was still damn good at it.

Currently, he was covered in grass stains and dirt. Soccer practice had run a bit longer than usual, and he'd been so amped to play against Sasuke after that he'd gotten a bit carried away on the slide tackles. He was panting and sweating, but he didn't even care. During practice, the pair of them had been on opposite teams and (having lost the basketball challenge at lunchtime) he was determined to show him up.

Thankfully for all spectating parties, the game had ended in a tie –and now Naruto was trying to prove again that he was better by getting past Sasuke's guard. He was failing.

He pulled his shirt up to wipe his face and as it fell, he noticed that Sasuke appeared kind of distracted. Taking his chance, he shot into gear, racing straight for the goal. Sasuke jolted into action at the same time that Naruto went to shoot…

Result: their feet caught the ball between them and they both went tumbling forwards, Naruto, with the attacking force, toppling straight forwards on top of Sasuke. They landed in a pile of sweaty limbs in the grass.

"Ow…get off, moron…" Sasuke snapped. Naruto just held his face down for a moment as he looked up with blue eyes full of hope. To his enormous delight, the ball had continued rolling right into the goal. Triumphantly, he sat back on his haunches and leered down at the raven underneath him.

"I win!" he proclaimed.

"Tch, one goal in against like a hundred I saved," Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Get off me." Naruto suddenly seemed to realise that he was perched practically in the Uchiha's lap, but decided to make the most of having the higher ground.

"Say I win," he demanded.

"What are you, a child?" Sasuke snorted.

" –Say it, or I'm not getting off."

"Fine –" Sasuke growled, before savagely grabbing him and rolling the pair of them until he was hovering over Naruto, "_I win_."

"Bastard!"

Itachi could hear the squabbling from half a field away. He facepalmed heavily and Deidara looked at him quizzically.

" –What's the face for, Itachi, yeah?" he inquired, "Is this about Hidan telling you about Kisame, coz I told him to say sorry, yeah…but Kisame chucked him in a dumpster anyway –not like a big one but…"

"No, it's my little brother," Itachi pointed into the distance to where he could see a pair of teenage boys wrestling in the grass –soccer ball forgotten, "He's obviously forgotten what time I was finishing work…"

"Who's the kid?" Deidara inquired; squinting.

"Probably Naruto," the raven replied with a shrug, "He's the only person Sasuke would be willingly spending time with, I believe."

" –Your brother has problems, yeah," Deidara deadpanned. Itachi shrugged.

"I may be inclined to agree," he admitted, "Sasuke's been warring with Naruto Uzumaki for years now. He'd always come home complaining about him or something –talking about this Naruto kid who pissed him off." Itachi chuckled, "But…" He nodded over to the pair of them as he and Deidara drew up to the goal and watched the fight in amusement. "…I think he secretly enjoys it."

Naruto and Sasuke were fighting on the ground –each trying to force the other back to the ground. Their clothes were riddled with grass stains and there were obviously dirty tactics such as hair-pulling and tickling going on. Naruto was swearing, but he was laughing.

And Sasuke was grinning.

"…I've never seen your brother smile like that before, yeah," Deidara commented with a raised eyebrow. Itachi just shrugged.

"I noticed it a few years ago," he admitted, "He'd never admit it, but there's only one person that can make him smile like that." Deidara looked down at the smiling younger Uchiha yelling obscenities at the giggling blonde, and then across at Itachi, who appeared rather amused by the horseplay.

"You know, Itachi…in that respect, you and Sasuke sure are a lot alike, yeah."

* * *

Meanwhile, Shikamaru and Kiba were sitting on the roof of one of the nearby classrooms. Shikamaru was Naruto's ride home, and he'd dragged Kiba along to amuse him until Naruto finished up whatever was going on down there with Sasuke.

"Isn't this kinda weird?" Kiba inquired curiously.

"Are you spying?" Shikamaru sighed.

"Of course I am," he scoffed, "This is Naruto, and this is Sasuke, and _this is weird_ –like seriously. Are you a wizard? What the hell did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" he shrugged.

" –You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about," Kiba sniffed, "A week ago, Naruto would be strangling Sasuke instead of play-fighting with him. He brought him to play basketball with us today. We beat Neji. That never happens. And did you hear –"

"Yeah, I heard," Shikamaru replied lazily, "_Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke_, right?"

"Yeah –so explain! I know you've got something to do with it," he snorted. Shikamaru just glanced at him sideways with a small smirk and shrugged noncommittally.

"All I did was tell him what he'd never noticed before," he replied with a yawn, "Really; that's all I did. He was just so focused on his little rivalry that he didn't see it. And now that it's been pointed out, he's going to notice it. How he interprets all that is completely up to him."

"So you pointed out good things about Sasuke…and now he starts to see them, and more?" Kiba frowned.

"Something like that," he shrugged, "It was just kind of planting the idea that Sasuke was a good dude that Naruto never got the chance to know…and Naruto's completely run with it."

"I hope I never cross you," Kiba informed him in a deadly serious tone, "Dude, I think you could destroy me."

"…It'd be too troublesome," he yawned again, " –So now, Naruto's mind is just completely filled with Sasuke in some way." He nodded down to the field where it appeared that the two of them were struggling against each other still.

"It's pretty sudden though," Kiba frowned, scratching his head in confusion, "Sudden friendship, I mean. And I really didn't think Sasuke would go for it, you know?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Had Kiba actually registered _anything _they'd been saying in Naruto's hearing?

" –Naruto never half-asses things," he chuckled, "And we don't give him enough credit –he's very observant."

"…You totally took advantage of that, right?" he queried with a groan, "…He's going to start thinking the sun shines out Sasuke's ass!"

"Not quite," he mused, almost to himself, "He's not _blind_. He just wasn't looking before. I may have…_opened his eyes_ to the possibility of him and Sasuke being friends. He seems pretty set on it…"

" –But he thinks Sasuke _likes_ him," Kiba pointed out with a sigh, "Wouldn't he think that he's leading him on or something?"

All of a sudden, as Shikamaru looked up, he watched with a raised eyebrow as Sasuke and Naruto, who had been yanked on the backs of each other's heads, both let go. Their faces went snapping forwards and connected violently.

Panic rose up in Naruto's gut as he suddenly realised that their mouths had been slammed together. Sasuke's lips were chapped but soft –and he did _not_ like that he had realised that. Almost as a weird kind of reflex, his tongue flicked out from between his lips and ever so softly touched the edge of Sasuke's lower lip.

Horrified at himself, he tore backwards, the back of his hand pressed tightly to his mouth as he became truly aware of how he was once again straddling Sasuke's hips. He swallowed nervously, and looked up in embarrassment to see that Sasuke's brother and his friend were watching from the soccer goal nearby.

"Oh how cute," Itachi remarked lightly, "I get to witness my baby brother's first kiss!"

"Shut up, Itachi!" Sasuke snarled aggressively, ears turning pink as he shoved the stunned Naruto off him and rolled ungainly to his feet. Naruto coughed awkwardly as he wiped his mouth; cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "That wasn't a kiss!"

"Oh yes, I must have missed the part where you were unconscious and he was giving you mouth-to-mouth," Itachi commented dryly, earning a vicious glare from Sasuke, "Come along, little brother; sorry to interrupt, but we have to get home."

"Tch," Sasuke scoffed, and then looked back over his shoulder, "Later, moron."

"B-Bastard!" Naruto stammered and then averted his eyes when he realised it hadn't come out with as much bite as he had wanted. He quickly headed over to grab his things. "Uhh…you did good today," he added lamely as a parting compliment. He heard Sasuke snigger, and then, quietly, he heard the reply.

"…You too."

Naruto let out a short breath and with a wave to conceal his embarrassment, began heading back towards the school. Jeez, what the hell…why did that have to happen? And tongue, what the fuck –stay _in mouth_! He was blushing like crazy and wasn't really sure why. A kiss was just a kiss right -no matter who it was from, right? And that wasn't even _really_ a kiss...Just a...uh...

His heart was thudding in his chest, but he told himself that that was just adrenaline from the wrestling and the fact they'd been exercising. And his palms…well, they were sweaty…but they'd been doing sports –_all_ of him was sweaty…

But nothing explained why his stomach was suddenly doing backflips, or why lips were tingling so much.

"He's not all that observant when it comes to himself," Shikamaru shrugged, stretching as he decided that it was about time to get off the roof. "He wouldn't see it as leading him on. He's just being friendly. At least, that's probably what he's telling himself."

"That looked a bit more than 'friendly'," Kiba pointed out. Shikamaru chuckled to himself. "Shikamaru, do you know something? What the hell? Did you do something else?" Shikamaru just shrugged noncommittally as the pair of them stood up; seeing Naruto trudging across the field towards them.

"Everything's happening so fast and there's so much for him to take in," he commented, his voice sounding every-so-slightly sly, "He's got so much running through his head and such -trying to be friends with the guy, whilst simultaneously thinking about Sasuke's 'feelings for him' and how to deal with them..." He looked down, and even from up on the roof, he could see that Naruto was blushing up to his ears and apparently muttering under his breath.

"He probably hasn't had time to think about how _he_ really feels about _Sasuke_."

* * *

**And on that note, there is the end of this chapter! In the next one, we finally see Valentine's Day! What's going to happen! What's Naruto decided to write for his valentine? What's Shikamaru talking about? Was there something more to his plan after all? Sorry about the lack of Hidan and Deidara antics in this chapter! **

**It's moving along fast, I know, but when Naruto sets his mind to something, he gives it his all, right? **

**Also, I think I love sexual-joke-Gaara. **

**To all reviewers; I LOVE YOU. I love you all, so much! Actually, I love all readers too. You guys are what keep me writing, so thank you all so much for letting me share what I love, with you all!**

**Next chapter soon, promise.  
xx K **


	5. Chapter 5

**It's finally here: Valentine's Day. What shall be discovered? What shall happen? Happy endings...or not just yet?  
Contains crass language.**

* * *

There was a sharp knock on the door, and as was the usual reflex in a school environment, almost all eyes in the classroom flicked towards the entrance in interest to identify the newcomer. Itachi didn't bother looking up. He'd heard the Taylor Swift music playing from down the hallway, and didn't need to look to the doorway to know that there were two girls from Sasuke's year standing there, dressed in short, white angel outfits with red wings and headbands with hearts on springs.

"We've got…_four_ valentines for Itachi Uchiha," Sakura chirped brightly as the Uchiha facepalmed in despair. It was the second class of the day, and this was already his third lot of valentines.

"Bin them," he called out in as much of a disinterested tone as he could manage. When there was no sound indicating that cardboard was being tossed in the rubbish, he looked up in horror to see that that Sakura girl that liked his brother (he couldn't figure out why) was bringing over a dozen red roses to his desk. God, how was he supposed to do physics with those bloody flowers in the way?

Glaring at the offending plants, his shoulders slumped as Sakura cleared her throat; about to –as tradition decreed –read out the messages in those infernal cards.

"_Itachi Uchiha_," she read aloud brightly, "_I've been admiring you for quite some time now, but I've always been too scared to approach you. I think if you gave me a chance, you'd find that we have a lot in common_ –" There was a loud aww at this that Itachi really didn't appreciate, but he loosened from his cringing state seeing as it didn't seem to be too bad so far. However, he was forced to revise this belief as Sakura continued reading; her voice growing increasingly more strained, "…_because I heard you're into bondage and I'm totally into that so you can tie me up any time. And I can accommodate your anal fetish if_ –"

"_Give me that_!" Itachi snapped flatly; swiping three of the cards from her hands as she blushed and the entire class burst out laughing. He felt his cheeks growing hot against his will. Oh god, he was going to kill those little shits… How the fuck did Hidan go from such a nice little confession to absolute crap in the same sentence?

He quickly flicked through the other two cards he had managed to acquire without Sakura reading them out and gritted his teeth at the very mention of '_I'd let you cum inside me. I'm on the Pill, I swear_'. This…_this_ was the year that Hidan and Deidara died, he decided as he crumpled them in his fists and remembered himself enough to _not_ melodramatically sweep the roses onto the floor.

"Anyone else interested to see what this one says?" Ino inquired cheekily as she nabbed Itachi's final valentine from the scarlet Sakura. Itachi looked up –trying to hide the terror in his eyes behind a mutinous glare. But apparently Ino was more thick-skinned than he was giving her credit, because she just giggled and opened the card, eyes lighting up in excitement. His classmates held their breath in anticipation.

"_On the first day of Valentines, Itachi came in me, and filled my pussy with his seed…_"

Itachi wanted to die right then and there. If he was anything less than an Uchiha, he would've leapt up and snatched it from her before she could continue. But he was an Uchiha, and they did not behave in such a way. They had their dignity, after all…but even that was beginning to dwindle very quickly.

"_On the second day of Valentines, Itachi gave to me: two purple hickeys, and filled my pussy with his seed…On the third day of Valentines _–" The class, and even their teacher seemed to be enjoying Ino's sing-song voice. "_ –Three brutal orgasms, two purple hickeys _–" Why the hell was 'brutal' used to describe an orgasm, he mused to himself; head down to face his work. His teacher wasn't protesting, and the class was just egging Ino on despite the content of the song.

"–_Five. ANAL BEADS_!" Ino roared, and the class burst out in hysterics all over again. Itachi truly had never been one to wish for death…but now…now he was praying for god to strike him down…or for the ground to swallow him up. Anything. "_Four fingers in me, three brutal orgasms, two purple hickeys and filled my pussy with his seed…_"

He was lucky that Hidan only went to ten days of Valentines. He wasn't so lucky that by the tenth day the whole class had caught on to the words and was yelling it out at the top of their lungs. Even people in the next classroom over were joining in. Someone was videoing. A quick look up through his bangs indicated that there was more than one person videoing. Was Gai _conducting_ them?

Well, he thought snidely to himself, his physics class might be singing him the most humiliating fucking song ever…_but at least they were in key_….

After sitting through the various days and apparently giving this fictional person various offerings of spankings, 'favours', toys, positions and god knows what else, it finally finished with an enthusiastic roar and a round of applause. As Ino took a dramatic bow for leading the choir, Itachi actually let his face slump down onto his textbook with a defeated thud.

Hidan had really outdone himself this year. Today could not get any worse.

As his class finally managed to get itself back under control, the song '_Candy _Shop' by 50 Cent started violently blaring out through the room; quite clearly the explicit version. It took Itachi a few moments and the re-intensifying laughter of his classmates to realise that his phone was ringing, and that yes, somehow Hidan had managed to get his phone and change his ringtone. All it took was a single glance to know who was calling.

Not caring that he was in class, he answered and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hidan," he remarked in a very dangerous tone, "…There are twelve roses on my desk. The next time I see you…they're going down your throat."

"_Ooh, I'm so scared_," Hidan simpered with a bark of laughter, "_Happy fucking Valentine's Day to you too, Itachi!_" He cackled maniacally –sounding thoroughly pleased with himself.

"Bite me," Itachi muttered flatly.

"_Bet you'd like that_," Hidan mocked, "_Go on, talk dirty to me. Bet you want to_."

"You're so dead," he snapped in a low tone, "I'm going to wring your fucking neck. Deidara's too."

"_Careful, Itachi, yeah, you're threatening a masochist with a good time_," Deidara could be heard sniggering in the background. Actually, there seemed to be a lot of giggling going on…

"Am I on speaker?" Itachi inquired darkly.

"_I'll take you to the candy shop_," Hidan sang mockingly, "I'll let you lick my lollipop…"

"Die," Itachi commanded; hanging up and turning his phone off. His face was flaming and he was losing his composure. Every year this happened! And every year he tried to ignore it and shrug it off. But this year, it seemed that things were going to get out of hand.

Although, as a scheming genius himself when the need arose, Itachi had to admire Hidan's inventiveness, just a little. Bearing that in mind, he allowed himself a small chuckle at his own expense as Ino and Sakura (finally) took their leave.

"Itachi, you never fail to make my Valentine's Day that much better," Pein commented from the seat behind him.

"I'm so glad my suffering amuses you," Itachi muttered back sarcastically. Pein just smirked at the mutinous Uchiha.

" –By the way, could I have one of your roses?" he inquired, "…I forgot to get something for Konan." Itachi mulled this over and nodded, deciding that eleven roses was still enough to cram down Hidan's throat –thorny end first.

* * *

Kisame's geography class had just finished, and he was headed for the common room for morning break. He was looking down in confusion at a small piece of card in his hand; turning it over again and again as though that would cause it to make more sense. He was so absorbed in it that he promptly walked head-first into the doorframe.

"Fuck," he swore, rubbing his temple, where his face had connected with the wooden edge. He nervously glanced to his side, hoping that no one had seen.

"…Watcha looking at Kisame, yeah?" a curious voice inquired, and Kisame looked down to see Deidara leaning over his arm to peer at what was held in his large hands.

"Nothing," he quickly lied, but he knew by the excited look on the blonde's face that he hadn't fooled him. "It's…it's…"

"You got a valentine?" Deidara exclaimed with a pout, "No fair! I just got one from Hidan filled with slut jokes and gay sex, yeah…" Kisame looked down at him and rolled his eyes dramatically. Those two were fucking unreal sometimes. The blonde was tugging at his hands, trying to see it, and when Kisame refused to unclasp his hands, he let out an annoyed whine.

"Oh fine…" Kisame muttered, since Deidara knew that he couldn't bear that noise, "But quit it. You're not a child."

"If I was, and you were my dad, I'd be spoilt fucking rotten, yeah," Deidara smirked, taking a look at the little red card, "You just can't say no to me –aww, this is so cute!" Kisame facepalmed and let out a heavy sigh. "Who's it from?"

"I don't know," Kisame replied with a shrug, "It doesn't have a name –and they…"

"They ripped it!" Deidara remarked in disappointment, seeing that it was only half a card. The back half of it was missing. "What if it said who it was from, yeah?" He sounded so downhearted that Kisame actually laughed, looking down at it again.

"I take it, it wasn't from you and Hidan?" he raised an eyebrow. Deidara shook his head vehemently.

"Nah, we're just too focused on Itachi, yeah," he replied, "By the way, check facebook –his physics class sang him that Valentine's song that me and Hidan spent like four hours on, yeah."

"He's going to kill you."

"He has to catch me first, yeah," Deidara reminded him –apparently quite confident in his ability to outrun Itachi. What Kisame didn't point out was that Itachi probably had the bonus of his limbs being fuelled by rage. He reckoned the two assholes had about…two hours to live, maybe three.

"Aw," Deidara was saying as they headed off to the common room, "Your first valentine and you don't even get a whole one, yeah…" Kisame shrugged. It was probably meant as a joke, anyway. But, Sakura had promised to find and give him the other half by the end of the day, so he was keeping it –just on the off chance that it was real. He didn't like to think of himself as a sappy romantic, but he couldn't deny that despite being incomplete, the message had made him feel…well…

_Happy_.

_"Somehow, I fell in love with you. And even if you do not feel the same, there is one thing that I wish to say_ –"

* * *

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to not attract the attention of Anko. The class was unusually chatty today –Anko was in a good mood since a large bouquet of roses had arrived for her from her boyfriend. The entire class of course couldn't think of how the _hell_ a woman as aggressive and violent as their biology teacher could find herself a boyfriend, but since Anko in a good mood was a very rare thing, they all silently agreed to keep their opinions to themselves.

Although, the whole class privately wondered if it was the ex-military PE teacher that was renowned for making freshmen cry in games of dodgeball.

In any case, Anko was more relaxed today, and so there was a low hum of conversation in the air. Naruto wasn't really engaging in small talk –he was too busy freaking out about when Sakura or some of her cupids were going to knock on the door to the lab. It was the third class of the day already, and he was starting to think that other people were noticing he was a bit on edge.

"Oi –_Naruto_, are you even listening?" Kiba inquired flatly from somewhere behind him. Not realising he'd spaced out _again_, he turned around apologetically, "Dude, I was asking if you're ready for the big game on Saturday?"

"…It's not really a _big game_," Naruto mumbled, "It's not like we're the football team…"

"It's the championship game," Kiba pointed out with a sigh as he copied down notes from the whiteboard, "It's kind of a big deal." Naruto just shrugged and snuck a glance at Sasuke, who was apparently absorbed in his work.

"It'll be fine," he assured him, "I mean, with me and the bastard, the game will be pretty much over before half time, right, Sasuke?"

"…Did you say something?" Sasuke inquired vacantly, turning to look at him with a genuinely distant gaze. Naruto cocked his head in interest; seemed like there was something playing on the guy's mind.

"Tch, never mind," he muttered, and turned back to Kiba, "And Neji's confident that we'll crush them –and Lee's vowed to play even if his nose isn't healed, so it should be an interesting match."

"Well, we'll all be there to cheer you guys on," Kiba chuckled, "Right, Shikamaru?" he elbowed the sleeping boy next to him, Shikamaru simply replying with a dozy, "Kiba, I already said you could copy my work…" Kiba shrugged helplessly and Naruto laughed; a little of the tension leaving his body.

That was, until there was a knock at the door. Sakura practically skipped in with a rather unenthusiastic Tenten in her wake. Tenten did not look at all at home in the short angel's dress, and Sakura was apparently ignoring her comments about her displeasure at the costume.

"Hello girls," Anko greeted, as she was handed another rose. The biology class cringed at the sight of their maniacal teacher actually _blushing_.

"We've got a couple here," Sakura admitted with a chuckle, "Two for Shikamaru Nara?" Shikamaru actually opened one eye as she wandered over to the table. "Um…The first one says, '_Touch my sister again and I'll end you. Go die_' –" The class sniggered at that and Shikamaru chuckled to himself, "…And the other… '_Temari left her camera here. Kankuro found the pictures she sent you. Good luck, Gaara'_." The whole class let out an 'ooh, you're in trouble' noise as Shikamaru face-planted on the desk.

"…Troublesome…" he grumbled into his workbook as Tenten started reading out other valentines.

"Sasuke Uchiha," Sakura finally remarked in a sing-song kind of voice. Naruto stiffened and actually clutched his pencil so hard that it snapped in two. He hurriedly hid his hands under the desk and looked at the diagram of a digestive system as though it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He didn't dare sneak a glance across at Sasuke yet.

" –We've only got one for you this class," Sakura remarked lightly.

"I'm thrilled," Sasuke deadpanned, "Bin it."

"Not how this works, Uchiha," Tenten reminded him flatly and he sighed, "We deliver them. You decide if you keep them." Sakura cleared her voice mightily, and glanced down at Shikamaru and Kiba, who were both smirking to themselves. She also noted that Naruto had gone practically motionless.

"_Sasuke._ _You were always my goal. I'm really glad I met you_."

She placed the valentine down on the desk beside Sasuke, trying to gauge his reaction. He was blinking in confusion; startled, she thought. Even if Shikamaru hadn't seen Naruto sneak this valentine into the collection box –a tell-tale smudge of ink making it identifiable to anyone who had witnessed the act –it wasn't _too_ difficult to tell who it was from, if you looked hard enough.

Currently, Naruto was blushing up to his ears and looking rather like he was holding his breath. Sasuke slowly reached out to pick up the valentine and read it over a few times before slowly closing it again and sliding it into his notebook. Naruto let out a visible sigh of relief and withdrew his hands from under the desk; hands shaking slightly. Sakura gave Shikamaru a knowing look and he gave her a weary thumbs up that Naruto was too busy being absorbed in his nails to see.

"Don't worry Uchiha, we've got a whole bag of them for you next class," Tenten assured him with a laugh and his shoulders slumped in annoyance. "Happy Valentine's Day everyone!" Anko waved her away with an actual smile, admiring her roses. The door clicked shut, but Shikamaru noticed that the tension didn't leave Naruto's body.

"Oi, what's the problem?" Sasuke remarked to Naruto with a raised eyebrow. The blonde, apparently so startled that someone was speaking to him, recoiled in shock and as a result, toppled right off his seat to land on the lino in a pile of stationery. The whole class stared at him and then burst into giggles.

"Uhh…I uhh…am _stressed_…" Naruto mumbled as some sort of explanation to Anko, "…And the…big…_game_…on Saturday…Yes…" Anko gave him a suspicious look but asked no questions as the bell thankfully tolled for the end of class, and he scuttled around to pick up his things.

"Physics now, right?" Kiba confirmed as they traipsed out of the classroom. Naruto nodded distantly.

" –Really, the game's got you that stressed?" Sasuke scoffed, having waited outside the classroom for Naruto to catch up. The three of them dropped into line and slowly headed towards their physics class. "…You've been tense all morning."

"No I haven't. I don't know what you're talking about," Naruto spluttered immediately and found himself blushing again._ Dammit, pull yourself together! It wasn't even a romantic valentine that you sent! You have no reason to be blushing like a little girl!_

"Tch…whatever…" Sasuke rolled his eyes. Kiba raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask questions.

He was sitting across the other side of the room from Naruto and Sasuke, but even from there, during class, he could see that Naruto was physically uncomfortable. He apparently couldn't stop fidgeting –something that appeared to be driving Shino insane –and kept glancing nervously at the door. Kiba privately wondered what Shikamaru had written on the valentine he'd sent to Naruto from 'Sasuke'. He hoped it was realistic enough for Naruto to buy it.

He didn't have long to wait to find out. About halfway through their class, the cupids appeared once more, and unceremoniously dumped a shopping bag full of red cards and roses on the desk in front of Sasuke. As Sakura continued around the class, she eyed the way that Sasuke sifted through the cards one by one; reading them briefly, rolling his eyes and then balling them up and throwing them into the nearest bin. Kiba saw her watching him, and could only conclude that her valentine for him had been in there.

But one by one, the cards joined the trash. The roses though, he thought were a pity to waste, and kept them on his desk. Kiba felt a little bad when he saw Sakura's expression fall.

"Naruto Uzumaki," she called out finally, and Naruto promptly spilt the entire contents of his pencil-case across the floor. The whole class stared at him as he went red and shrunk down in his seat –trying to be as invisible as possible. Blue eyes flicked across to see if Sasuke looked back at him, but the raven was busy with his calculations.

"One for you," Sakura remarked kindly, wandering over and placing one rose down on the desk beside him. She smiled at him as she read it aloud, but Naruto didn't hear it. He was too busy looking down at the rose in front of him. He was distantly aware of the class letting out a resounding '_aww_', but was only brought back to reality when the card landed on the desk in front of him.

Eyes widening, he tentatively opened it up –embarrassed at having completely missed what it said.

_You're my kind of idiot. Don't ever change_.

In his mind, he heard those words said in Sasuke's voice –said with a touch of the normal condescension –and felt his heart thud loudly in his chest. He let out a shaky breath, licking his lips and a small smile crossing his features. If this was…if this was Sasuke's valentine, and from the vibe of the wording, he was almost certain it was, then he figured himself fluent enough in Sasuke's language to interpret it how it was intended.

_I like you; just the way you are_.

A different blush began tinging his cheeks –not the flaming red of embarrassment, but a soft pink of 'oh. He likes me…' Without even meaning to, he picked it up and held it in both hands; drawing it towards his chest in an attempt to still his unnaturally lurching heart. Kiba saw this reaction and raised an eyebrow in Sakura's direction. She'd obviously noticed this as well –even if no one else had –and shrugged. Kiba gave a silent kudos to Shikamaru. He'd really nailed that.

When Naruto felt his heart rate slowing, he let out a shaky breath –unsure why it was shaking. Sakura had departed once more, and the class had resumed normality. Okay…so now…now, he had to talk to him. Well, not right now. Maybe, in a more…_comfortable_ environment.

"Uhh, Sasuke?" he inquired –his voice sounding more hoarse and unsure than he had wanted. The raven looked back over his shoulder with a quirked eyebrow, and Naruto swallowed the lump growing in his throat –sure that he could see the beginnings of a fond smile in the Uchiha's eyes. Was that his imagination? Surely? He managed to mumble something.

"What?" Sasuke retorted flatly, and Naruto tried again with only another jumble of syllables coming out. Jeez, where was his manly pride? What the hell was wrong with him? Thanks mouth, for making him seem even more like a bumbling moron trying to ask out his first crush –which he obviously wasn't.

"Practice after school?" Naruto repeated once more –a little more coherently this time. He'd decided to try simplifying his sentence down to the minimum number of words required to get his point across. He saw Sasuke mull this over in his mind and shrug.

"Fine," he remarked disinterestedly, but Naruto knew that that was just an act. He saw the small smile dancing around the corner of the raven's lips. For reasons unknown, those butterflies that in recent days had taken up residence in his stomach, began fluttering around uncontrollably. He smiled to himself, pocketing the valentine with one hand and pressing the other to his belly to try and control the backflipping of his stomach. God, why was he so nervous about playing some soccer with Sasuke?

Well, probably because he didn't really have a good rejection-and-understanding speech planned, and he didn't know how Sasuke was going to react to such a speech. That was cause enough to be nervous, right?

* * *

"_Kisame, help me you fucking traitorous bastard_!" Hidan shrieked from where he was zigzagging across the school's official sports field. "_Ow! Itachi, you fucker, that hurt_!" he yowled as a rock went hurtling into his shoulder-blade with precision.

" –I've already saved you once today!" Kisame drawled from the bleachers as he finished eating the lunch he hadn't managed to finish at lunch time since he'd been too busy fetching gross fruit and vegetables from the supermarket, and then picking the lock that chained Deidara and Hidan to a tree –whilst avoiding the mushy fruit being thrown at them. Itachi had a vast fan club who were more than willing to cough up a few dollars to throw food at the men who had angered their god. Kisame had opted to both support Itachi's cause and later unchain the other two. (Itachi had wanted to leave them amongst the fruit pulp)

"_You helped him_!" Hidan shouted back.

"Well _yeah_ –I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to throw fruit at you!" Kisame hollered back, "But at least I helped you escape afterwards!"

"It's all for nothing if I –_OW_ –die now!" he yelled back; covering his head, "Oh come on Itachi, the song was fucking _classic_!"

"_It's on Facebook_!" Itachi howled; allowed to lose his composure since there were only the four of them there. Deidara was currently being Kisame's footrest –having been mercifully spared a stoning since he'd taken a nasty stone-fruit to the face at lunchtime. That, and Itachi had stuffed roses down his pants.

"SO?"

"_My mother liked it_!"

Kisame let out a booming laugh and accidentally dug his heel into Deidara's back. The blonde winced in discomfort. The bigger man looked down at him unsympathetically.

"…This is your own fault," he reminded him reproachfully as Itachi succeeded in felling Hidan with a rock to the knee. Hidan face-planted into the grass and was subsequently yanked across the field by his hair. "Be thankful you're not Hidan." He pointedly got up, dragging the blonde with him, and met Itachi over by the dumpster. With ease, he lifted both of them up and hurled them into it. Both minxes groaned, but bumped fists nonetheless.

"Worth it," Hidan sniggered.

"Totally, yeah," Deidara agreed with a smirk and then let out a yelp as he realised that there were a whole bunch of unwanted roses in the dumpster with them.

"Feel better?" Kisame inquired lightly.

"Considerably, thank you, Kisame," Itachi sniffed; composure back in place, "I'm going to shower and wash away all memories of this humiliating day." He swiftly retied his ruffled hair and flicked it casually, before stalking off in the direction of the locker rooms. Kisame leaned up against the dumpster with a wicked grin as Hidan and Deidara's dirty, tired faces appeared over the rim. Deidara had a banana skin on his head.

"I think you did it this year," he mused, "I think you really broke Itachi."

"Well it was fucking hilarious," Hidan cackled, slinging an arm around Deidara's shoulders and getting head-butted in the cheek for the action. "Oi, not the face, jackass!" He nudged the blonde in the face with a fist and Deidara glared at him at it made contact with his tender cheekbone.

"Oh, Kisame, there you are!" a voice called out. The three of them looked up to see Sakura jogging over –red wings bouncing comically. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

" –How'd you find me?" Kisame raised an eyebrow, "…School's over…"

"I followed the screams," she replied with a shrug and looked up into the dumpster. Hidan waved casually, "…Why are they in a…no –not gonna ask. Nice black eye, man."

" –Peach to the face at lunchtime, yeah," Deidara replied with a shrug.

"Oh…" Sakura mused, "Uhh, that may have been me…" Deidara was about to let out some angry response, but Hidan promptly pushed him down by the head and forced him back into the dumpster; sitting on his shoulder-blades to pin him into the rubbish.

"What can we do you for, sweet thing?" he inquired with one of his wicked smirks. Sakura rolled her eyes and held out a red piece of cardboard to Kisame. "Ooh; other half of Kisame's fucking valentine? What's it say?"

"Thanks," Kisame remarked with a chuckle and added, "…If you go past the boy's locker rooms now, you might catch Itachi in the shower." Sakura flushed red but snickered when he winked at her mischievously. She skipped off lightly with an innocent look on her face.

"He's gonna kill you next," Hidan deadpanned, peering after the pink-haired girl.

"…Ahh well, I've lived a long and happy life," Kisame chuckled with a shrug.

"Hidan! Let me up, yeah!" Deidara complained, "I wanna see Kisame's valentine, yeah!"

"No, shut up down there," Hidan snorted, keeping his entire weight on Deidara's shoulders. The blonde's legs kicked out; trying to buck him off. Deidara's hands reached behind his head and gripped Hidan's thighs to try and shift him –rolling in an attempt to free himself.

"_No fair_!" he complained, twisting and finally managing to roll onto his back. Unfortunately, this meant that Hidan was now sitting on his sternum, and he was greeting with a face-full of his friend's crotch.

"Quit your fucking squirming," Hidan snorted.

"Why, is it turning you on, yeah?" Deidara snapped back. Kisame glanced back into the dumpster and rolled his eyes dramatically.

" –Are you guys serious?" he deadpanned.

"So what if Deidara's got my junk on his face?" Hidan retorted flatly, "No homo." He looked down into his lap with a teasing look and added, "No biting."

"_Asshole_!" Deidara growled; arching his back and then head-butting Hidan heavily in the crotch. His friend doubled over for a moment in pain, and Deidara scrambled to his knees –peering over Kisame's shoulder curiously to see the rest of the valentine.

Kisame just stared at the card in disbelief, his mouth falling open slightly.

"Do you reckon it was fucking supposed to rhyme?" Hidan inquired –only to get hit in the face by Deidara.

"_Shut up, Hidan_!"

Kisame barely heard them over the sound of his heart beginning to race.

_Somehow, I fell in love with you. And even if you do not feel the same, there is one thing that I wish to say_…_For everything, thank you, Kisame_.

* * *

Naruto wiped his sweating forehead and rolled his shoulders as he slowly dribbled the ball back towards the school. Really, truly, he'd meant to use this time to talk to Sasuke…but he'd just gotten so caught up in their game that it had almost slipped his mind. And now, they were heading back from the practice fields to the locker rooms and he couldn't find the words to say. But he needed to say something. Now that their game was over –and he had thoroughly enjoyed the game –they'd descended into what had been a comfortable silence until Naruto had started thinking again.

"Say, um, Sasuke?" he commented in an attempt to sound casual, "How many valentines did you get today?"

"Lost count," Sasuke shrugged dismissively and Naruto glared at him.

"You shouldn't have thrown them all out," he scolded, "All those girls are gonna be crushed! You should've seen Sakura's face when –"

"I didn't throw them all out," the Uchiha retorted simply, and Naruto promptly accidentally stood on the ball instead of kicking it. He stumbled, and would've fallen, had Sasuke not reached out and caught him by the elbow. For some reason, his touch felt rather warm on Naruto's skin.

"Oh?" Naruto commented innocently as he headed over to collect the stray ball, "How many did you keep?"

"You sure are clumsier than usual today," Sasuke remarked in mocking amusement. Naruto pouted and he rolled his eyes, "One. I kept one."

"Oh…Uhh…cool," he replied lamely and coughed awkwardly. "Yeah I…I got one too."

"I know," he snorted, "Remember how we're in the same classes? Idiot."

"Right," Naruto chuckled nervously. God, why were words failing him today? "Um, look…about the whole…"

"Was it from you?"

The bluntness of the question nearly sent Naruto stumbling all over again, but he was prevented from doing so once more, by Sasuke stabilising him. Big blue eyes guiltily looked up into Sasuke's knowing black ones. "Oh please, don't be such a moron. You practically fainted from embarrassment in biology and could barely look me in the eye all day."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Naruto snorted, looking down and suddenly realised that Sasuke hadn't released his grip on his wrist.

"…As usual," Sasuke scoffed in a condescending tone, "…But try saying that to my face, this time." Naruto tried to look him in the eye and deny involvement, but as soon as he looked across into Sasuke's face, the words fell from his mouth. "I'm your goal, am I?"

* * *

"Say, Shikamaru," Sakura commented curiously, having met up with he and Kiba at the bus-stop to wait for their bus together.

" –Sakura, why's your nose bleeding?" Kiba raised an eyebrow.

"…No reason," she replied quickly, pulling out a tissue to dab at it, "But I…owe someone a favour now…"

"Right," Kiba rolled his eyes.

"What is it?" Shikamaru asked with a yawn.

"I've been wondering," she continued in a puzzled tone, "Seriously, like how did you make that valentine to Naruto so realistic? I read it out to him in class today, and it just seemed perfect. I don't know how you pulled it off?"

"Oh, that?" Shikamaru shrugged in a bored tone as he tucked his hands into his pockets disinterestedly, "The whole thing was too troublesome."

"…Too troublesome?" both Kiba and Sakura queried in confusion as he turned his back on them so that they wouldn't see the smug, knowing smirk playing around his lips.

"I couldn't think of anything to write, so I never bothered sending him one."

* * *

Naruto's breath began to shake and he tensed as he felt nimble fingers around his wrist slide down and slot perfectly between his own. Almost as a reflex, his fingers curled to lock their hands together. Then, suddenly, he found himself being dragged forwards, and before he knew what was happening, his hands were up against Sasuke's chest and there were lips hotly pressed against his own.

His eyes widened as the circuits in his brain suddenly fizzled and became nonresponsive. He could feel strong arms wrapped around his back; gripping his body and shirt tightly. A small gasp escaped from him as a tongue sensually trailed against his lips, and he fisted the front of Sasuke's shirt tightly as that tongue slid into his mouth.

Everything started happening far too fast for him. Brain, trying to reboot, could only register the pleasure of being kissed like this, and he unconsciously let out a deep moan in his throat. At the sound, he felt a low vibration in his mouth and realised with a jolt that that sound had come from Sasuke. His tongue batted at Sasuke's gently, but that contact quickly became more furious when it caused heat to begin spreading through Naruto's limbs.

Tanned hands reached up, clutching at raven hair and clawing at Sasuke's back as he was pulled in tighter; a thigh slipping between his legs and pressing against his crotch. A surge of what Naruto knew could only be arousal spread through his body and he moaned again; eyes fluttering shut.

Sasuke was…Sasuke Uchiha was kissing him. And right now, Naruto's mind and body were at war; torn between pushing him away and kissing him back. He clutched at his shirt desperately; half with a mind of dragging him off, and half because he needed something to hold on to in case his legs collapsed out from under him.

He was being reeled in again; his chest connecting with Sasuke's and his crotch rubbing up against the thigh pressed between his legs. The Uchiha's lips were devouring his hungrily; and he wasn't resisting as much as he wished he was. Without meaning to, Naruto let out a keening, aroused sound into Sasuke's mouth and his eyes flickered open once more.

What he saw was a pale, blushing face that was far too close to him. Sasuke's eyelids had fallen to half-mast, and Naruto, though unexperienced in these matters, could see those black eyes foggy with desire.

"…Naruto…" Sasuke whispered huskily against his swollen lips.

"…Sasuke…what are you…" Naruto breathed back; the sudden influx of oxygen –and realisation –causing him to freeze, "…Sasuke…_what the fuck are you doing_?" Panic was rising.

"I thought that was obvious –" Sasuke frowned, "Moron…" Suddenly he was being flung backwards as Naruto tore away from him in horror at what had just happened –and that his body had apparently betrayed him.

"_Don't just kiss me like that and then call me a moron_!" he exploded aggressively, "You can't just _do_ that! What the hell?" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and took a few more paces back as Sasuke righted himself.

" –You kissed back," he growled.

"Only because you startled me!" Naruto squawked; his face turning crimson for the umpteenth time that day, "Holy crap! I'm not fucking _gay_!" Sasuke couldn't have looked more puzzled, angry and almost shocked if he'd tried.

"Then why the fuck did you suddenly start being so friendly and touchy?" he snapped, "And sending me a valentine and asking me to come here –"

"I wanted to be your friend!" Naruto shouted, not entirely sure why he was reacting like this, "Shikamaru thought that you were nice to me because you liked me, and I just didn't see it, so I tried to be nice! I sent you a valentine _to be nice_, and just wanted to play some soccer with you! Jeez! I didn't fucking…"

" –You didn't fucking think I'd get the wrong idea?" Sasuke growled bitterly, turning his back on him, "You're a fucking moron, you know that?"

"Quit calling me a moron!" Naruto snarled violently, "I didn't think you'd _come onto me_!"

"How could I not?" Sasuke muttered, his voice suddenly darker than he remembered it ever being, "…When I'm in love with you…"

"No, you're not!" he exclaimed; his voice betraying panic. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He wasn't ready to hear that –not after what had just happened –not after his body had reacted that way to Sasuke touching him. "Don't say that! I don't…" he clutched at his hair –not knowing what he was supposed to say.

"Why? You knew I liked you," Sasuke snapped accusingly, cramming his hands into his pockets.

"You weren't supposed to kiss me," he hissed, "I was…I wanted to talk to you…and say that we're cool and all…and that I'm not into you but I want to be friends still…but –" he clamped both hands over his mouth to try and give himself time to gather his thoughts, but his mind was a whirlwind and his eyes couldn't help but follow the way Sasuke's tongue trailed across his lips. That tongue had just been practically down his throat, and those lips had been on his.

He was babbling, and he knew it. "…I didn't even _really_ believe that you were…"

"Gay?" Sasuke snorted bitterly, beginning to stalk off, anger, disappointment and frustration radiating from him, "…Well if you want to pretend this never happened, then fine by me. But if you knew, then perhaps you should have made your intentions clear."

"_Maybe you should've been more observant of my sexuality_!" Naruto shot back as the raven stalked off towards the locker room alone. He might've thought that he could hide it, but Naruto could see the hurt in his face. "Bastard!"

God no, this had all gone horribly wrong. Why had he started the yelling, when he had been enjoying himself so much? Actually, that was the thing. He'd been enjoying himself _too_ much, and the realisation of that had stunned him into fight-or-flight state. If he'd just shaken off Sasuke's hand...if he'd pulled back instead of accepting the kiss...maybe then they could've talked it out...

Then again, he and Sasuke had never been very good at _talking. _Maybe this whole idea had been doomed from the start? And now he'd rejected Sasuke Uchiha -the guy who never opened himself up to anyone.

For a while, he just stood there while his mind recovered. He was feeling a little lightheaded and became rather hyperaware of how badly he was trembling. His hands were sweating and his lips aching, his tongue tingling, skin burning and the butterflies in his gut had morphed into giant pterodactyls. The way Sasuke had said his name still lingered in his ears, along with one other thing that he'd said, that he couldn't block out.

_Sasuke didn't just like him. He was in love with him_.

And no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself…strangely, that knowledge made his heart soar.

* * *

**Naruto, you poor child. Try to do a good thing and it just...****_backfired_****...Though, Sasuke's not without fault. Probably wasn't the most...****_subtle_**** of options.  
Overreaction plus misinterpretation, makes for a pretty awkward situation. **

**A good valentine's day for some.  
And for others...not so much. **

**When the panic fades, how does Naruto feel? Will he be able to properly explain himself to Sasuke?  
Find out in the next ****_and likely final_**** chapter!  
Much love for reading and reviews, m'dears  
xx K**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so I lied... there's gonna be one more little chapter after this one!  
Day of the big match! Any resolution?**

* * *

The whistle went and the Leaf Valley High supporters in the bleachers let out groans of exasperation. Even the cheerleaders looked downhearted but were making a decent attempt at pretending otherwise.

"This is getting fucking ridiculous," Kiba swore aggressively, practically gripping his hair in frustration.

" –You're fucking telling me, right," someone drawled loudly from the row behind. Kiba turned around in surprise and recognised the infamous Hidan and Deidara duo from the year above. Hidan was currently sitting there with Deidara's feet slung up onto his lap as the blonde munched on a bag of chips.

" –You're friends with the Uchiha brat aren't you?" Hidan commented crossly, and Kiba made a 'kind of' gesture. "What the fuck's his problem today? They're fucking lucky that the ref called out the bowl-cut kid on some of Sasuke's fucking fouls…" He descended into mutinous mutters, followed by a, "Oi, Deidara, text Itachi will you? He's gonna be fucking embarrassed by how his baby brother's playing!"

"Itachi would never be embarrassed by Sasuke, yeah," Deidara rolled his eyes, licking his fingers clean and then stabbing his wet fingers into Hidan's cheeks tauntingly, " –You text him. I'm eating, yeah?"

"What the hell's going on down there?" Kiba snorted, turning to glare over at Shikamaru as if the genius could offer some explanation for what curse seemed to be suddenly inflicting fouls upon their entire team. Truth be told, the majority of them originated with Naruto and Sasuke, but somehow their team was figuring out a way to take 'credit' for the shoddy plays to prevent them from being sent off…

…But unfortunately, the yellow cards were stacking up.

And, with a minute or so left in the first half, down by four goals…they couldn't afford to have two of their starting players being sent off –despite the strength of the rest of the team.

All of a sudden, Sasuke managed to break away from the horde; rocketing down the field with the intent of scoring. Naruto was right up there with him in case he needed support –which he very obviously did, since the opposing team's defence was proving to be incredibly good.

"GO SASUKE!" the crowd was yelling; egging on their favourite. He was a dark blur sprinting for the goal –but the defence was right there to stop him. No matter how he tried to get past, he found his way barred; and the rest of the pack was beginning to gain on him.

Without any other option, he turned and glanced to his right, and saw that Naruto was jogging up expectedly to receive the pass. But then he saw a flicker of something…was it fear? Uncertainty? _Disgust, even_? It didn't matter what it was – it was in Naruto's eyes and he hated it. That look for some reason made anger boil up inside –anger at himself or Naruto, he didn't know –but it was that emotion rather than anything else that fuelled the kick that swiftly booted the ball in the direction of the ball.

Too much force meant that it sailed higher than it should've; and much faster…and wound up slamming Naruto right in the side of the face.

Reflexes jerked his face back away from the ball; toppling backwards and clutching at his smarting cheek and eye. His nose was bleeding but not broken, and he could already feel the booing and disappointed groans of the crowd. God, he'd been hearing a lot of those groans today…so he knew that the defence had rushed in while he was stunned, and had collected the ball.

The whistle blew to signal half-time, and he was a little relieved that it was just that and not another goal. Losing four to eight…it was a dismal championship game so far, and he just knew he wasn't playing at his best.

Actually…he and Sasuke's teamwork was probably at an all-time low.

Which was saying something, since when they'd both started, they used to slide-tackle each other when they were on the same team.

The crowd was getting disgruntled and it was getting him down further. He hated the prospect of letting down so many people that had come to cheer them all on. Sakura waved to him sympathetically, but he didn't have time to wave back. Almost as soon as the team collected around the bench, Neji gripped both Sasuke and Naruto by their shoulders and dug his fingers in like iron claws.

"Uchiha. Uzumaki…" Naruto knew he was completely fucked when Neji started using _his_ last name. "Mind telling me what the _fuck_ is going on out there?"

On top of the last names…Neji was swearing.

"Uhh…" Naruto stammered, avoiding looking Sasuke in the face. What excuse could he give their captain? That he and his friend-slash-rival had made out after a terrible misunderstanding on Valentine's Day and hadn't spoken since?

" –You two have been playing so much shitter than usual these last few days," Neji growled in his iciest tone that made Naruto want to cower slightly. "I thought that it was just nerves, and so said nothing. But that…" He dug his nails in deeper and glared sideways at them through his angry pale eyes. Neji didn't get angry. He thought anger was unbecoming of a star-captain-prodigy –but he also hated losing.

" –Uchiha, what the fuck was that kick?" he inquired coldly, "And quit avoiding Uzumaki; I know he's a fucking clown sometimes, but you should be passing to him more." He glanced over at Naruto and let out a low breath in an attempt to calm himself down, "Uzumaki –_Naruto_…go get yourself cleaned up. Ten minutes." He released their shoulders and they both resisted the urge to slump in relief.

" –I don't care what happened," he snorted flatly as he stalked over to the bench to get his water bottle, "It can't be worse –or messier –than the time you _both_ laced each other's protein shakes with laxatives." The entire team sniggered and cringed at the memory of such a failed practical joke.

"…Punch each other. Kiss each other. Cry it out together like little girls –I honestly don't give a shit," Neji remarked in his most nonchalant voice –a dangerous voice indeed, "…But cut the crap and _keep it off the fucking field_!" And on that note he ran a hand back through his beautiful brown hair and stalked off to refill his water bottle, adding a, "Good work you guys on making up for our teammates' incompetence."

Shikamaru and Kiba were loitering around down near the bottom of the bleachers when Naruto made an appearance; heading towards the bathrooms.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kiba exclaimed immediately, "Shit, that was a _brutal_ kick! Sasuke must've been fucking _mental_ to think you would've gotten –" He saw the dejected look on the blonde's face and decided that shutting up was probably going to prove to be the best option. "Neji didn't look pleased…"

"…Last names," Naruto muttered and both his friends cringed sympathetically. It wasn't unusual for Neji to call Sasuke by his last name, but ever since Naruto had fought tooth and nail to get to the first string, the Hyuuga had apparently decided that he was worthy of being on first-name basis with. "It uhh…he…"

" –Naruto, could I maybe…have a word?" Shikamaru inquired with a small frown. Kiba got the hint immediately and stalked over to where the cheerleaders were trying to think of a way to rally the supporters. He greeted Sakura cheerfully, but she didn't buy it –staring over at Naruto in worry.

"…What's going on with you and Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked bluntly; not bothering to bandy words. He, and everyone else in the crowd had been able to spot the tension between the two of them. They could feel it from the bleachers. Sure, the pair of them were usually really competitive and fired up –but there was never this kind of…_passive-aggressiveness_ between them. They weren't passing to each other –even when it was obvious that the other was open…and when they _did_ pass, it was reluctantly, poorly, or just downright embarrassing.

At least once, Naruto had physically lost his footing whilst mid-pass to Sasuke; his foot had swung over the ball and he'd toppled forwards, kicking the ball back behind him. It would've been an impressive manoeuvre if it hadn't resulted in the other team stealing and breaking away to score.

"What uhh…makes you think…" Naruto tried to stammer, but from the look on his friend's face, there was no point in playing dumb. "Is it that obvious?"

"Uh…_yeah_," Shikamaru retorted flatly, "Naruto, I don't think I've seen you play this badly since middle school –and you had a broken leg then." Naruto turned pink, as the pair of them headed off to the bathroom so he could clean himself up. Thankfully, his nose had already stopped bleeding.

Once in front of the mirror, Naruto gripped the edge of the sink tightly and avoided looking up into the mirror, where he could see Shikamaru watching him curiously. He had to tell him. Shikamaru was clever. He always knew what to do. And frankly, Naruto didn't have a fucking clue what to do right now.

Ever since Sasuke had walked away from him after kiss, things had been…_different_. They stopped talking in classes. They stopped hanging out. Even their words turned colder towards each other. Sure, they'd actually been friends for literally less than two weeks…but he felt like he'd known Sasuke for lifetimes. He missed him.

But…that wasn't all. In the last few days, he'd found himself staring off into space, only for his daydreams to be filled with memories of Sasuke –not just from those last weeks, but from their whole school life. Sasuke had always been there as an obstacle to tackle –someone to beat –his _goal_ as he had so termed it in his valentine. He was jealous of who Sasuke was and everything he had…so he tried desperately to be cool like him. And when that failed, he made him his rival.

That meant that, well, he was always thinking about him.

And he'd only just realised quite how much when he would jolt out of his daydreams to discover that he was staring at the Uchiha.

"…Me and Sasuke kissed."

_Okay…it wasn't supposed to come out like that_.

"Come again?" Shikamaru blinked, apparently a little startled by this. Naruto thought that maybe he should've been _a lot_ startled by this.

"…We…kissed," he mumbled –a lot less confidently this time and with a touch more embarrassment. "I uhh…I sent him a valentine…and he thought it was of a…_romantic_ nature…and uhh…kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?" Well, if Naruto was Shikamaru, that definitely would not have been his first question. He frowned down into the sink.

"…Um…Yes?" he replied in embarrassment, "I uhh..." He looked for an explanation. There wasn't one. "Yes. I kissed him back. A lot." God, his face was flaming, and it wasn't just from being hit in the face with a soccer ball.

"What's the problem?"

Naruto looked up, halfway through washing his face, and saw Shikamaru leaning against one of the bathroom stalls with his hands in the pocket. Apparently his face must've given away the '_how can you not see the problem_?' that he was feeling, because Shikamaru sighed.

"…Sasuke kissed you…you kissed him back…what's the problem?" he inquired flatly. "Do you like each other?"

"I…uhh…He…likes me…" Naruto coughed awkwardly, "He…uhh…said so."

"And you…"

"…Pushed him away…" he winced and groaned heavily when Shikamaru let out a sympathetic sigh. "Okay…long story short…I heard you guys talking about how Sasuke um…was going to send me a valentine, so I decided to send him one back –just to be nice, you know? So I started hanging out with him. But apparently he got the wrong idea…and he misinterpreted my valentine as me liking him back and now…" He gestured vaguely in the direction of the field, "…Now we're like this…" He was about to launch into another speech, but Shikamaru silenced him with a wave of his hand –apparently surprised by none of this.

"He's mad coz you pulled away; you're mad because he made a move?" he guessed.

"I'm not _mad_," Naruto mumbled awkwardly as he dried his face with a paper towel, "…I just…didn't get a chance to explain and now we're not talking."

"Can you explain?"

"Huh?"

"How can you explain it to him, when you can't even explain it to yourself?"

That made Naruto stop and stare up into the mirror in surprise. Shikamaru rolled his eyes in exasperation.

" –Naruto, I've seen you staring at him in class," he drawled with a heavy sigh, "You can't keep your eyes off him. Sometimes you mutter to yourself too –when you think no one's listening."

"…I do that?" he breathed in embarrassment, hanging his head and forgetting to deny that he stared at Sasuke. "…Shikamaru, I don't know what's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about him…and I just keep replaying that…the kiss –" he said that in a very small voice, "…Over and over in my mind and I just…"

"Naruto." Shikamaru had the ability to stop a rambling rant dead in its tracks. "I'm going to tell you a couple of things, and I hope you'll take them on board." Naruto nodded wordlessly.

"Ever since I can remember," he sighed, "…You have been trying to get Sasuke's attention. You annoyed him, you chased him; you tried to be better than him. There was a year, back in middle school, where we couldn't _breathe_ the word 'Sasuke' around you, or you'd get all flustered and fired up –" Naruto cringed at the memory. Not his proudest year of school.

" –You're jealous of all those girls chasing him," Shikamaru added with a small smirk, "But you're the one who yells the loudest, fighting tooth and nail for attention. You did anything to be close to him and catch up to him, you claimed that he was just like any other person, but he was always special to you…Am I right?"

Naruto found himself nodding slowly, the realisation of what Shikamaru was getting at beginning to dawn on him.

"You loved hanging out with him; god, we heard enough about it. Getting to be with him and laughing with him –that's the happiest I've ever seen you. And now, you say you can't stop thinking about him. You kissed him back when he kissed you. Hell, you're one step away from doodling 'Naruto Uchiha' on your notebooks," Shikamaru sighed, scratching the back of his head, "Sorry, Naruto; you're his biggest fan." He shoved his hands in his pockets and quirked and eyebrow –interested in seeing how Naruto would take this information. The blonde was simply staring at himself in the mirror; blue eyes wide.

"You're saying that…I did all that…because…I actually…maybe…" he whispered to himself, "No…I mean…what…I mean…that's so _childish_…"

"And because you're always the epitome of maturity," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Look, that's just my take. But…you really are a moron when it comes to knowing yourself, you know?" He could see the cogs whirring in Naruto's mind and just shrugged. "Figure it out. Go talk to Sasuke. It'd be real nice if we didn't lose like this."

And just like that, Shikamaru vanished from the bathroom, leaving Naruto standing there, his head cocked and staring at himself inquisitively.

Was it possible; what Shikamaru was implying? That he…_liked_…Sasuke –without even realising it? That just didn't happen!

…And he had no idea about conveying this 'maybe, I possibly like you' feeling to Sasuke. Hell, the other guy's way of doing it was to just grab him and kiss him! But Shikamaru was right. He needed to talk to Sasuke right now –even if for a moment.

Steeling himself, he touched his aching nose and stalked from the bathroom.

" –_Uzumaki_," Neji growled, indicating that there was only a minute or so left of half time –but the rage left his face as he saw the look the blonde was wearing.

"Sasuke, I need to talk to you," he informed him sharply, and yanked him away from the rest of their team.

"Moron, the game's about to restart –" Sasuke snapped, his voice full of hurt and anger.

"Just listen to me," Naruto snorted firmly, refusing to release him, "Just a minute?"

"You've only got a minute." Naruto knew, so he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about what happened the other day," he blurted out, "You just shocked me, and I didn't know what to think or how to feel. I wanted to say that I didn't mind you liking me, and wanted to be your friend, but you startled me before I got a chance. I'm just so sorry." He took a breath but saw that Sasuke was still angry at him.

" –Don't say things if you don't mean them," he snapped, "…I saw the way you looked at me at the end of the first half. I disgust you, don't I?" Naruto quickly wracked his brain for the look that Sasuke could be thinking of –and he knew immediately what it was.

"…You've got it wrong," he remarked sadly, and Sasuke felt a sudden surge of guilt, for some reason. "…I thought you were going to bypass me and take the shot yourself –and be everyone's favourite, like usual. It uhh…it sucks –" he kicked the grass dejectedly, "…Everyone always runs over to you and gets super excited when you score…and I just get forgotten. Every time." Sasuke frowned in confusion.

That look, that he'd mistaken for disgust, was actually sadness? In the back of his mind, maybe he'd known that. Naruto wore that look a lot during moments like that in games. And he knew that that rage that he'd felt was anger at himself for being responsible for putting that look on Naruto's face.

"And…Sasuke?" Naruto suddenly sounded nervous and shifted uncomfortably, "…I don't think you're disgusting…" He coughed self-consciously, "…I actually…kinda…really _liked_ it…" His words and the flush on his tanned cheeks made Sasuke stare at him incredulously. Naruto averted his eyes in embarrassment. "Um…I…I have to think about something things, but can we talk properly…after the game?" He looked up, his glittering blue eyes full of hope –and Sasuke knew, as he'd always done, that he could deny him nothing.

"Fine," he replied flatly, and was about to stalk off, back to the pitch –but then, for the briefest of moments, Naruto's fingers brushed up against his. He looked back and saw that usual, big, idiotic grin.

" –Let's win."

* * *

"There you are," Kisame groaned in exasperation, finally spotting Itachi making an appearance at the big soccer match. "…Itachi, where have you been? You know this game was important to your little brother –"

"Work kept me," he replied in a distinctly dejected tone. Kisame's gaze softened. He knew how much Itachi hated disappointing his little brother.

"It doesn't matter," he shrugged, "Sasuke played awful the first half anyway. They're just starting the second half right now, so –"

"_Oh my god; Itachi finally came_!" crowed an excitable female voice, and Kisame groaned; face-palming dramatically as Itachi looked at him with a pained expression. Suddenly, girls were flocking towards them, Itachi just closing his eyes as though hoping that when he opened them, they would all be gone. Kisame just chuckled to himself and stepped protectively in front of the Uchiha.

"Ladies, really?" he sighed, folding his arms and tutting loudly, "Itachi's just here to support his brother –"

"_He's so kind_!"

" –Such a good brother!"

" –A family man? I love him!"

"…And you are all meant to be doing the same," Kisame reminded them playfully, glancing back at Itachi. _Say it_, he dared. _Prove me right_. "Back to your seats, girls, come on…" They were all letting out whines of protest, "Support the team –remember, if we win, the after party will be at the Uchiha mansion…" He quirked an eyebrow cheekily, "And you know who lives at the Uchiha mansion?"

For some reason, they all held their breaths; eyes wide.

"…Uchihas…"

The crowd burst into excited squeals of excitement and delight, so Kisame just ushered them away like he was shooing away chickens.

" –But no after party if we don't win," he reminded them with a wink, "So go cheer for the team, yeah?" He immediately received enthusiastic nods of delight, and the women all scampered off towards the bleachers again to spread the word and show a bit of school spirit. Itachi let out a long breath.

"…Thank you, Kisame," he commented gratefully, brushing his bangs out of his face.

_There it was_.

"Itachi," Kisame frowned, turning to face his friend, "…Did you send me a valentine?" Surprise was evident upon Itachi's face –but it was the kind of surprise of one who has been caught out; not one who had no knowledge of what was being accused. "…Itachi, I asked you a question." For once, he saw the Uchiha lost for words –and that alone was enough to tell him he was correct.

"Oi! Kisame! Where the fuck did you go?" Hidan could be heard hollering obnoxiously from somewhere nearby. Before Itachi could protest, Kisame quickly yanked him under the bleachers and out of sight.

" –Kisame, what –" Itachi suddenly seemed to find his voice.

"…What was with the valentine?" he demanded flatly, "Explanation, now. If this was your idea of playing the same game as Hidan and Deidara, then I don't –" And then suddenly, his words were cut off as Itachi gracefully looped an arm around his neck and dragged him down to mould their lips together.

Kisame kind of just blinked for a moment; hands pressed to the wall behind Itachi to keep himself balanced. What was happening?

Stunned, he pulled back, only to find Itachi looking a little hurt at the apparent display of rejection. He dropped his arms and looked away, which Kisame immediately felt guilty for.

"Just…just wait," he apologised, catching the Uchiha by his arms to make sure he didn't run without giving him time to explain, "Um…What was that?"

"I was serious," Itachi deadpanned, glaring up at him. Still, Kisame didn't know what to think. He licked his lips; warm from Itachi's touch.

"But...aren't you straight?"

"…Does it seem like I'm straight?" he snorted flatly, tugging his arms free and folding him. Somehow, despite the situation, Kisame found himself feeling…_scolded_.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked with a frown.

"Because until a few weeks ago, I thought _you_ were straight," he huffed, "Now, if you would kindly let me go throw myself to those rabid fangirls…" He made an attempt to walk away, but Kisame tugged him back again.

"No, it's not that I don't like you, Itachi…" Kisame assured him quickly, "It's just…uhh…I haven't had time to adjust to thinking of you as a…_option_. I mean, even if I'd _known_ you were gay, I would never have thought I'd stand a chance with you!"

"Why ever not?" Itachi sniffed coolly.

"Uhh, because you look like _that_, and I look like _this_," Kisame replied, as though it was completely obvious, "I'm…weird-looking. And you're…cute."

"Cute?" Itachi deadpanned. Apparently that wasn't a compliment.

"What's wrong with cute?" he frowned.

"Cute implies no sexual attraction."

"_Sex_ –" Kisame spluttered. Hell, if this wasn't the weirdest conversation he'd had in a while. And…suddenly, there was a strangely wicked look in his friend's eyes. Itachi moved a little closer, so that their bodies were almost pressed together.

"…Does it surprise you that I want to have sex with you, Kisame?" he inquired in a low, alluring tone that made Kisame swallow uncomfortably.

"Uhh, _yeah_," he replied honestly, not sure if it was weird that he was a little turned on by the tone Itachi was suddenly using.

"Kisame, you are my best friend," Itachi murmured quietly, apparently this embarrassing him enough to make him look away, "I've…I've liked you for a very long time –you were the only person who just treated me normally, that wasn't already in a no-homo-but-kind-of-homo relationship with someone else." Kisame had the distinct feeling he was referring to Hidan and Deidara. "I don't know when I stopped wanting to be just your friend…but that's just how it is. And if you think that there's maybe the possibility that you could eventually feel the same, then kiss me." Kisame found himself staring down at his friend for a moment.

Somehow, he'd never imagined himself ever leaving Itachi. In his mind, he'd always kind of just assumed that the pair of them would be together –in a sense –forever. Itachi was definitely more than a friend to him. Whether or not he felt exactly the same –that remained to be seen…but it was possible.

And he kind of really wanted to kiss him again.

He leaned forwards and pressed his lips up against Itachi's; wrapping his arms firmly around the smaller body. Itachi immediately moved closer; their chests pressed together. One of Itachi's hands raked down Kisame's toned chest as he let out a satisfied moan deep in his throat. Kisame's tongue slid out to test the raven's lips; only to find them parting willingly for him to delve into his mouth.

His body was growing warm. So much for _cute_. As far as he knew, he was the only person Itachi had ever kissed…but apparently Uchihas were geniuses in _everything_…

Kisame had pressed Itachi back against the wall again, a hand snaking down to grip his ass and test the Uchiha's reaction to it. If the way he rolled his hips up against his was any indication, he was perfectly okay with it.

"…Itachi…" he moaned softly as his hips ground back against the Uchiha's. "…If you keep doing that…" He saw the flicker of triumph in Itachi's eyes as he reached up again and reattached their lips; tongue pressing up into Kisame's mouth hungrily.

Okay, if Kisame was being honest, he'd had thoughts about Itachi before. Thoughts of having sex with him, that was. Not that he ever would've acted on them ever –because he'd thought that Itachi was completely out of his league.

And, well, (and Hidan and a few of the teachers had joked about this), they'd practically been in a relationship for the majority of high school. They were best friends. They did everything together, Kisame served as his bodyguard and protector from women, Itachi was the –ever-so-slightly demanding one of the pair (in Kisame's imagination, and now, apparently in reality, this had extended to bedroom activities) and (Itachi didn't know about this) Deidara actually had mock wedding plans for the pair of them.

And now there they were, making out underneath the bleachers. How teen-high-school-flick.

Kisame kissed the edge of Itachi's lips, descending further to kiss down his neck; one huge hand clutching at long, raven locks and the other encouraging Itachi's hips to grind up against him as he pressed his thigh between his slightly parted legs.

"Mmm…Kisame…more…" Itachi whispered huskily, in a voice that sent a shiver of arousal straight through his friend's body. God, Itachi knew how to move, and wasn't shy about it in the slightest. Fuck, if that wasn't arousing enough, Itachi kept breathing his name in wonderful, breathy little whispers. Oh, he could just imagine dirty little words spoken in such a tone.

"Yes…just like that," Itachi murmured as Kisame sucked harshly at his pulse and gripped his ass tightly; running his middle finger down the seam of his ass and pressing up into him. He could feel his own cock growing hard with the knowledge Itachi _wanted_ him. God, he'd never felt like this before.

"Well, well, well, what've we got here, yeah?" a cheeky voice remarked suddenly, and Kisame raised his head from the crook of Itachi's neck, licking his lips sheepishly. Itachi looked over in annoyance to find that Deidara's head was dangling upside-down as he peered under the bleachers. "Hidan! Found them! They're dry humping!"

"Ooh, can we join?" Hidan remarked mockingly as his head too appeared looking underneath the bleachers. Kisame glared at the pair of them.

"Go fuck each other again," he snorted crossly; rather annoyed that he and Itachi had been interrupted.

"Again?" Itachi queried in confusion, and Kisame actually laughed as he pulled back a little, hunching so that his shirt covered the bulge growing in his jeans.

"Nothing fucking happened!" Hidan snapped hotly, "Okay, there may have been a bit of _contact_…"

"Stop telling them things, Hidan!" Deidara yelped dramatically, swatting him in the face.

"…It's only gay if our balls touched –"

"No, it's pretty gay if you wanted to put your dick in his ass…" Itachi remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"An ass is a fucking ass," Hidan snorted defensively.

"I can assure you that you're wrong," Kisame coughed with a smug smile. His three friends peered at him incredulously.

"Kisame, what the fuck? You've have sex with women too?" Hidan exploded, his mind unable to comprehend the fact that the weird-looking quarterback had managed to bed members of both sexes.

"…Yes."

"How many people have you fucked?" he demanded to know.

"Yes, Kisame. How many?" Itachi inquired coolly, folding his arms with a dangerous expression. Hidan and Deidara oohed at Kisame being trouble but he just cracked his neck and looked away awkwardly.

"…So…are you guys gonna come watch or get back to what you're doing, yeah?" Deidara sniggered, " –We're doing heaps better this half already." Kisame looked over at Itachi, who just coughed a little sheepishly.

"I can't speak for _some people_," he remarked in a low tone, "But I would rather my first time _wasn't_ under the bleachers." Kisame raised an eyebrow, but then saw that Itachi was looking pointedly at his crotch, and mouthed an apology.

"…That was a dig wasn't it, yeah?" Deidara growled, flushing crossly at the memory.

"You guys go ahead," Kisame muttered, "I just…need a minute…" Hidan and Deidara exchanged looks, smirking and giggling to each other.

"…_Or_…" Itachi remarked lightly, turning to look at his friend slyly, and his eyes dropping down to Kisame's crotch again for a moment. The quarterback's mouth fell open.

"…Hidan?" Deidara whispered, "…Did Itachi just subtly offer to blow Kisame, yeah?"

"I fucking think so," Hidan muttered incredulously as Itachi gave them both a withering glare. He turned and glared crossly at Deidara. "Why don't you ever offer to blow me?"

" –Because we're friends and that's fucking gay, yeah," Deidara snapped flatly.

" –Kisame and Itachi are friends," Hidan pointed out.

"Like hell," he sniffed, "They've practically been dating for years!" Hidan stared at him for a moment and then nodded in agreement. Suddenly, a cheer went up from the spectators, shaking the bleachers violently. This resulted in Hidan and Deidara both falling from the edge that they were looking under, and clattering to the ground dramatically.

"Ow," Hidan grumbled, from where he had toppled on top of Deidara; face practically planted in his crotch.

" –Hidan, get your fucking crotch out of my face!" Deidara snapped, swatting at his hip. Itachi and Kisame deadpanned; the mood completely killed but now ridiculous. "Oi! What the fuck are you doing, yeah?"

Hidan looked up from where he had experimentally nipped at the zipper of Deidara's jeans, resulting in the blonde smacking him on the ass.

"…You two are way too comfortable with each other," Itachi deadpanned. Hidan just nestled his face against Deidara's crotch and rested on his elbows –looking up at them innocently.

"You guys are the ones fucking tonguing each other," he pointed out as Deidara aggressively hooked a leg over his neck and forced it to the ground between his legs, "No-homo, right Deidara?"

"…There's something a little bit homo about sixty-nining your friend," Kisame remarked dryly. "Seriously, why don't you two just fuck already?"

" –Like I would ever with this guy, yeah," Deidara snapped, hitting Hidan again.

" –Deidara, stop spanking Hidan; he likes it," Itachi warned in an amused tone. Hidan just cackled wickedly and looked up at Kisame and Itachi curiously.

"So…you guys are like, together now, or something?" he inquired innocently as he and Deidara struggled to disentangle themselves in the dirt.

"Yes," Itachi answered quickly, and then glared over at Kisame, "Right, Kisame?"

"…Yes, Itachi," Kisame replied as Hidan made a dramatic whipped noise. "Do that again, Hidan, and you'll be in the dumpster again…" Apparently this didn't prove daunting for their friend.

"Hey, do your worst," he invited with a smirk, "I got to see Itachi with a boner; nothing can ruin my day." Itachi glowered at him in embarrassment, but Kisame just took his hand and chuckled lowly.

"Come on…" he muttered.

"Aw! I wanted to see Itachi give head," Hidan complained, apparently unaware of how violently he and Deidara had managed to kill a mood. Deidara glared at him in mock disgust, "Oi, Deidara, don't look at me like that –you know you wanted to see it too!"

* * *

"Naruto! Over here!" Neji called out, and Naruto immediately passed over to their captain and then dropped back to catch his breath. God, this half had been hell so far. He and Sasuke were determined to make up for their foolish plays in the first half, and so were putting everything they had into winning.

As he slowed, punching the air as Lee scored, he felt a clap on his back. He looked up in surprise to see that Sasuke was running past with a small smile that made his heart skip. Actually…Sasuke had been smiling this whole half, and it just made him so happy.

There were only a few minutes left of the championship game, and they had managed to pull ahead to nine-eight; a fantastic comeback. Naruto was trying to keep his head in the game, but he was also trying to figure out what he was going to say to Sasuke.

A groan went up from the bleachers –the spectators annoyed that they'd just been starting to think that their team might actually win.

Tied.

They were tied.

"Come on guys! We can do it!" Lee hollered enthusiastically. The guy looked like he'd just been subbed on for crying out loud. How was it possible to look so energetic?

And then, in those last minutes, it happened.

Sasuke broke away from the scuffle, and the crowd roared in delight. Naruto was hot on his tail, seeing the defence from the opposition rising up to meet the challenge. Sasuke's gaze was focused past them though, and they knew it. He was going to pass them.

Naruto felt his heart plummeting. Here they were again; the same as they always were. And he could see the determination in the Uchiha's face as the defenders closed in.

And then, he saw black eyes dart across to him, and his eyes widened, as suddenly, with lightning speed, Sasuke passed –a perfect, fast pass that Naruto had received dozens of times. His eyes lit up in excitement as he eyed up the startled defenders, and with all his might, booted it towards the goal.

He didn't know what was sweeter; the sound of the ball hitting the net behind the keeper, the sound of the whistle blowing and the Leaf Valley High supporters leaping to their feet and practically breaking the bleachers…

…Or the look of pride and uttermost respect on Sasuke Uchiha's face.

And maybe it was that look…but it was at that moment that Naruto knew, though he didn't have the words.

The rest of the team started pouring towards him, but their cheers were drowned out by the fact that he had eyes only for Sasuke. The raven was jogging over too; an actual grin plastered across his face. Naruto could see him mouthing the word _idiot_, but that didn't matter. Instead of letting himself be wrapped up in the arms of his teammates as he'd always wanted, he sprinted off towards Sasuke.

The team followed him –Sasuke looking stunned to see the blonde running over, but holding out an arm to accept a victory hug from the guy.

But Naruto was going for gold.

As soon as he reached Sasuke, he leapt up, heart pounding, and wrapped his arms and legs around the other boy; mashing their lips together.

A shocked cry went up from the bleachers, but he didn't hear them. Nor did he hear the '_You go, Naruto!_' that started the clapping and cat-calling. All he was focused on was the way that Sasuke's arms enclosed him; supporting him as he kissed back hungrily.

Naruto gripped Sasuke's hair tightly and let out a mewl as a tongue pushed past his lips and onwards to ravage his mouth. He locked his legs tighter around the Uchiha's hips and took a soft intake of breath as he felt a sneaky hand cup his ass under the pretence of taking his weight.

He deepened the kiss, rising a little higher to press down against Sasuke's lips, thoughts and breath quickly escaping him like the last time they had kissed. Sasuke's mouth on his was demanding and hot, and as he held the Uchiha's face with one hand and viciously gripped him with the other, it seemed like they were the only two people in the world.

…Which, unfortunately, they were not.

An accidental shove from their celebrating teammates sent them toppling to the ground; foreheads smacking together and Naruto landing unceremoniously in Sasuke's lap.

"…Oh, were we interrupting something?" Neji remarked lightly, looking down at them.

"Yes," Sasuke growled malevolently, tugging Naruto closer to him in his lap.

"No," Naruto assured him with a low yelp as he felt their lower halves connecting a little too suggestively. Neji broke out into a smile and helped him up (though this proved to be a little difficult with Sasuke reluctant to give him up).

Now that he'd returned to reality, the roars were deafening. He broke out into a grin –blushing both from the fact that he had just made out with Sasuke Uchiha in front of the majority of his school, and from the praise he was getting from his teammates all around.

"Party at Uchiha's!" Neji shouted out –an announcement that was greeted with a great deal of enthusiasm –except by the two Uchihas present, that was.

"What…what was that?" Sasuke inquired as the team traipsed over to the bleachers to join in the celebrations. Naruto turned red and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I um…I just…think I like you," he replied in a small voice as he saw Sasuke's fangirls approaching –some looking horrified, and some with the question 'how was it?' written all over their faces. "I was really confused…but…I think I get it now." He chuckled to himself slightly, "…I'm sorry."

"It's…it's my fault for…coming on too strong…" Sasuke muttered, averting his eyes.

"Damn straight it was!" he exclaimed hotly, "Do you know how terrifying that is to be suddenly kissed by another dude like that and enjoy it and not be able to stop thinking about someone because of it?" He clamped both hands over his mouth at the admission and hated the way Sasuke smirked at him.

"…You couldn't stop thinking about me?" he remarked smugly, taking a step closer. Naruto gulped, and just muttered, "Bastard…" as Sasuke swooped in, and in plain view of all his fans, kissed him.

Sakura was still with the cheerleaders, but she saw what was going on between Naruto and Sasuke, and couldn't believe it. Well, actually, she could…because this kind of made sense. It…well, it did hurt…quite a lot really…and she felt tears springing to her eyes unbidden –both of sadness at seeing Sasuke with someone else, but also from joy at seeing how genuinely happy (pleased with himself) he looked.

She turned when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, it's not so bad," Kiba chuckled with a shrug, dragging her over towards the pair of them, "There's still the party tonight –you can find yourself a nice guy there. And you gotta come see this, it'll be hilarious…" he suddenly smirked wickedly as he pushed through the crowd to Sasuke and Naruto –where Naruto was elbowing the raven and calling him names for doing things that would pretty much make him public enemy number one.

"Hey Sasuke! You'll never guess what I saw happening under the bleachers!"

* * *

**So there we are, with one more chapter to go! Just a little something at the Uchiha after party! **

**Sorry it's taken a while to get this chapter up! Hope you enjoyed it.  
Much love,  
xx K **


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the ****_actual_**** final chapter of this story! **

**Warning: contains sexual references (at least). So just yeah, just be warned about slight (ever so slight) mature content, yeah? Nothing too big; kinda just mild mentioning...but yeah...**

* * *

"Oi, little Uchiha," Hidan called out loudly over the sound of the thudding music in the Uchiha mansion. Sasuke looked up irritably as he failed to make a shot in the game of beer pong he was currently playing with Naruto. "Where's Itachi?"

"I don't know," he snapped shortly, "Hiding in his room or something?"

"Is that so…" Hidan mused mischievously, hauling a rather tipsy Deidara up from where he was lounging on the couch in the company of a rather cute and apparently very available girl. "You're coming with me."

"What the hell?" Deidara complained, struggling as he was dragged off towards the door by the scruff of his shirt. "Where are you taking me, yeah?"

" –To spy on fucking Itachi, of course," Hidan snorted with a wicked gleam in his eyes. Deidara stopped struggling and mulled over this course of action, the same gleam lighting up in his eyes.

"He's actually going to kill us this time, yeah," he reminded his friend with a raised eyebrow.

"If we catch him doing the dirty then I can fucking die happy," he sniffed back with a smirk. Deidara deadpanned and replied, "Dude…that is so gay I don't even know what else to say, yeah."

"Imagine his face if we catch him," Hidan pointed out and Deidara actually frowned and let out a low whistle, that same smirk spreading across his face, "Gotcha."

"Fine, come on," Deidara sniggered, tugging Hidan by the elbow, "I know the best way to climb up to his window –"

"…I don't get why you didn't just _say_ something," Naruto complained, cursing as he missed his shot against Sasuke, "If you'd just, you know, came out, then those girls wouldn't have been chasing you for like, ever…"

"It's not like I was ready to be out," he snorted, "I didn't want you to start acting weird if you found out I wasn't into girls…" Naruto cringed, wondering how he would've reacted to finding out that Sasuke liked _him_ if he'd already known that the Uchiha was into guys…

"…Well…it would've been less surprising," he muttered crossly, "And I might have gotten a speech out before you decided to kiss me!"

"Oh?"

" –I might have realised your intentions!" he sniffed.

"Unlikely," Sasuke smirked, "You're pretty dense." His next shot landed deftly in one of Naruto's cups and the blonde was forced to down it; swaying slightly.

"Oi, shut it, bastard!" Naruto complained good-naturedly, matching Sasuke's shot and forcing the Uchiha to drink as well.

"You kissed back…" Sasuke muttering into his drink as he downed it.

"You surprised me!"

"You were moaning and grinding on me."

"_Don't say that so loud!_" Naruto hissed, blushing. "That's so embarrassing!"

"…And really, why'd you suddenly decide to _be my friend_?" Sasuke inquired mockingly. Naruto glowered at him as another ping pong ball landed in the cup in front of him, meaning that if Sasuke made his last shot, he'd won.

"I already told you," he complained, "I'd never tried being nice, because I thought you were an asshole. But then Shikamaru said that you being an asshole is just a front and that you actually treated me nicely."

"…Tch…that Shikamaru…" Sasuke sighed, shaking his head incredulously, and glancing across to room to where Shikamaru was conversing amiably with Gaara, whilst also being on the lookout for Kankuro in the attempt to _not_ get punched in the face by his sometimes-girlfriend's brother –the one that opposed their relationship.

"And I mean…" Naruto admitted quietly, fidgeting with his ping pong ball, "…Hanging out with you was fun. I uhh, I liked being your friend –_hey_!" He exclaimed as Sasuke promptly cheated, taking Naruto's turn and landing the ball straight in the blonde's final cup. In a flash, the Uchiha was standing right next to Naruto, with his hands planted firmly on his hips and their foreheads pressed together.

"…But now you like _me_, right?" he commented in a low tone, Naruto completely trapped in his deep, midnight gaze. His eyes were free enough to flick down to Sasuke's mouth and he subconsciously licked his upper lip.

"You're so needy," Naruto teased, feeling Sasuke's fingers gently trail up underneath his shirt to feather across his skin. "_Yes_, okay…" He looked pointedly at Sasuke's nose –that was a safe place to stare. "Shikamaru said that I was as bad as your fangirls."

"You are," Sasuke smirked as he leaned forwards to kiss the edge of his lips. Naruto glared up at him and stuck out his tongue.

"I'm trying to say nice things!" he growled crossly, and Sasuke pulled back a little –but didn't remove his hands from the blonde's waist. "I uhh…realised that…" He toyed with the hem of Sasuke's shirt. "…I kinda always tried to get your attention…And I just didn't realise until well…until you…kissed me…that it was coz I…" Sasuke, apparently tired of hearing about the past and more concerned with the cute, conflicted face Naruto was making, dove forwards and pressed his lips up against the blonde's.

Naruto's hands fisted Sasuke's shirt in surprise, but he quickly let his lips part so that Sasuke's tongue could trail against his own. A small moan escaped from the back of his throat as his clawing hands slid upwards to clutch at the Uchiha's hair.

"God, are you two going to be like this all the time?" Kiba suddenly remarked dryly from where he had suddenly appeared at Naruto's side. Naruto, completely embarrassed that he couldn't keep himself under control, wrenched backwards and glared at Sasuke.

"We're busy," Sasuke informed Kiba flatly, but Naruto just elbowed him in the gut.

"Oi, if this is gonna work, you're gonna _have_ to be less of a dick," Naruto snapped flatly.

"Work?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Naruto flushed again and averted his eyes.

"Well…I thought you…wanted me to be your boyfriend…right?" he ventured to guess. Well, that _was_ what he'd assumed –not that Sasuke had _actually _asked him out…

"Tch…moron…" Sasuke rolled his eyes dramatically.

"_That wasn't an answer_," Naruto complained, so Sasuke kissed him again. He pulled back again and jabbed him in the chest with a finger, "Neither was that! Hands to yourself, Uchiha! I'm not used to this whole…_thing_ yet!"

"…You certainly seem like you're enjoying it," an amused female voice remarked from nearby and Naruto nearly leapt out of his skin as he spied Sakura emerging from the crowd.

"S-Sakura," Naruto stammered, not having had the chance to talk to her since he and Sasuke's little _display_ at the game, "Uhh…I can explain…"

"Can it, idiot," Sakura sniffed, bringing a fist down on his head for using such a terrified voice at the sight of her, "I'm not mad."

"Huh?" Naruto's eyes bulged as he clutched at his head, "You…you're not?"

"How could I be?" she sighed, "You're my friend. And if Sasuke wants to shove his tongue down _your_ throat, then I never stood a chance to begin with." She shrugged. "…Anyway, it's kind of my own fault for going along with Shikamaru –" Instantly, Kiba clamped his hand over her mouth as her alcohol-loosened tongue nearly spilled the beans on the fact that they had _kind of_ tricked Naruto. Thankfully, the blonde and his Uchiha were again publically sucking face.

"God, never thought I'd see Sasuke Uchiha into PDA," Gaara remarked from across the room.

"I suspect he's laying claim," Shikamaru yawned with a shrug, before clapping him on the shoulder, "The bastard will be back when the alcohol lifts –"

"I hope so," Gaara deadpanned, "…Kind of for Naruto's sake…" He nodded over at the pair, where Naruto was now crossly growling at the raven for his wandering hands. "…Shall we go challenge them to beer pong?"

"Knock yourself out," Shikamaru shrugged, "…Actually…" he added with a wicked glint in his eyes, "…Go find Neji –you know he never passes up an opportunity to prove he's better than us all. Put him on Sasuke's team, it'll be hilarious." Gaara chuckled with a smirk –always interested in how he could twist the Hyuuga's words into sexual innuendos…

Shikamaru just rolled his shoulders and grinned to himself as he sipped casually on a beer. Ahh, usually it was troublesome being a genius. But sometimes it was a hell of a lot of fun.

* * *

"Oh my god…" Hidan hissed under his breath as he and Deidara perched precariously in the trees looking into Itachi's second-storey bedroom window. They were relatively well-concealed by the leaves, but had a very good view of what was happening in that room.

Currently, Itachi and Kisame were both shirtless and on Itachi's huge bed; Kisame hovering between Itachi's spread legs and supporting the Uchiha with one strong arm.

They couldn't hear what was happening, but it was very obvious that Itachi's breath was coming in laboured pants as he clutched at Kisame's hair as he lapped sensually at one of the Uchiha's nipples. Itachi's pale body arched up into Kisame's mouth as the sculpted quarterback nipped at the sensitive nub and looked up at Itachi with eyes glazed with lust.

Hidan felt a low breath escape him as he watched one of Kisame's hands slide down into Itachi's pants and begin stroking him. Itachi's body shook further with the contact and he clawed at one of Kisame's shoulders, letting out a gasp. His long, dark hair was still tied back but trailing down his naked back and Kisame was gripping it as he moved closer.

Kisame must've done something with the hand down Itachi's pants because the raven jerked up, throwing his head back with a moan. He was then pressed down onto his back, Kisame hovering over him and his lips kissing a harsh trail up Itachi's pale chest and throat; sucking at his pulse and tweaking his nipples playfully.

"Holy shit…" Deidara whispered, barely able to believe that they were actually watching this. Sending Itachi sexually explicit valentines was one thing, but watching him getting pleasured by their other friend was something completely different.

Itachi's hands were sliding down Kisame's chest to undo Kisame's pants, hand sliding into his boxers and his eyes apparently widening in astonishment before his partner leaned down and kissed him deeply; pressing both hands into the mattress either side of the raven's head. Kisame's hips rolled down against Itachi's, pushing his legs further apart and making Itachi mouth something that looked suspiciously like 'harder…'

Hidan wasn't aware that he'd started breathing so heavily. Smirking to himself, he fidgeted on the branch that they were sitting on, and it wobbled precariously. Deidara grabbed Hidan in shock; set off balance by the branch, but the result of this was that this further unbalanced Hidan, and the two of them toppled out of the tree.

Luckily, they managed to avoid yelling as they fell. Luckily, the garden broke their fall. Unluckily, they wound up, like they so often seemed to, on top of each other.

"…Fucking hell Deidara…" Hidan complained, lying flat on his back for a moment before slowly rising up to rub his head. Deidara let out a low groan, and brushed his long blonde hair back off his face and realised that he was currently straddling Hidan's lap.

"Asshole," he grumbled, "…What the fuck were you doing, yeah? Trying to perve better?"

"Something like that, yeah," Hidan smirked with a chuckle, looking up, "Fuck…that tree was bigger than it thought." Deidara let out a low mumble of agreement and Hidan suddenly cackled to himself.

"Oi, giddy-up," he smirked in the blonde's ear playfully. Deidara leaned back and stared at him incredulously as his friend gave him a wicked look. He looked down to the way he was positioned on Hidan's lap.

"Did you seriously just tell me to ride you, yeah?" he deadpanned and Hidan sniggered to himself, practically shaking with laughter at the look on Deidara's face. The blonde's eyes narrowed and decided that fine, he was going to play Hidan's game, if the asshole was going to be like that!

"What?" he remarked in a low tone, draping an arm over Hidan's shoulder and forcing his friend to look up into his face. "Like this, yeah?" Seductively, he rolled his hips up against Hidan's so that their crotches ground together slow and hard.

Hidan, knowing that Deidara would try and embarrass him, had already planned a sly, "M_hmm_," as a response, combined with a smirk –but what came out was much different.

"Mmm…" he moaned throatily, his hand automatically reaching around to clutch at Deidara's back, his eyes falling to half-mast as he felt Deidara move against him. Arousal that had been brewing while watching Itachi and Kisame was suddenly lit.

"…What the fuck…" Deidara whispered in confusion, his eyes wide as he looked down at the expression on Hidan's face. The platinum-haired man licked his lips, and suddenly Deidara felt a hand on the back of his neck. "Hidan…what are you…what…" That was all he managed to get out before Hidan leaned forwards and locked their lips together.

For a moment, Deidara tried to shove him back, but Hidan was stronger, and dragged him closer, forcing his tongue into his mouth. Any resistance that the blonde might have had, began to crumble as he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around Hidan's neck and pressing their bodies together.

God, they had _got_ to stop letting this happen when they got drunk.

Not that he really minded while it was happening.

Hidan was a jackass, but he had to admit that he was so turned on just by kissing him.

Deidara felt hands slide down his back and grip his ass, and he let out a low moan into Hidan's mouth. He could feel his friend smirking as he bucked his hips up, and he obligingly ground down on him again; setting up a hot, heavy rhythm and feeling himself growing steadily more aroused.

"Ahh…Hidan…oh fuck…" Deidara moaned as Hidan kissed to his chin and then viciously sucked down his throat, one of his hands sliding down the back of the blonde's pants and grabbing a handful of flesh. Gripping at Hidan's short platinum hair, he rolled his hips a little more vigorously and let out another loud moan. "Fuck yes…shit…ahh…" His voice grew louder as he felt Hidan's clothed arousal pressing up into him.

"Shit…Deidara…you feel too good…" Hidan growled like a wild animal, violently rolling the pair of them so that he was on top with Deidara's legs spread to either side of him. "Ahh…fuck…you like that?" he hissed, nipping the blonde's ear as he ground his hips up against Deidara's ass. Deidara moaned appreciatively, hands coursing down Hidan's back to encourage him onwards. Their breaths were coming in gasps as they rocked against each other; years' worth of sexual tension struggling for release.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of a window being wrenched open, and Hidan let out a loud yelp as something heavy landed on top of him, followed by a box landing in the dirt beside them.

"What the fuck…" Hidan cursed, looking up. He and Deidara immediately looked shocked at being caught, as a shirtless (and presumably naked) Itachi peered down at them malevolently from his bedroom window. Hidan swore under his breath as he glanced at what had hit him and realised that it was a small bottle of lube –and the box was a box of condoms.

"Itachi, what the fu –"

"_Just fuck each other already," _Itachi snapped in exasperation as Kisame appeared at his side –also presumably naked, and looking a little more amused than the Uchiha, "We're kinda busy and no offense Hidan, but hearing Deidara moan your name is kind of a turn off." He folded his arms and glared down at them.

"Get out of the garden," Kisame advised, and the pair of them hurriedly scrambled to their feet, "And Hidan! Make sure you prepare him well!"

"Prepare –" Hidan raised an eyebrow as he looked up. Kisame just tried not to laugh and waggled three fingers back at him. Deidara visibly gulped slightly as Hidan collecting up what Itachi had oh-so-thoughtfully tossed at them as they headed back inside.

Smirking to himself, Itachi violently yanked the window shut and was immediately wrapped up in a pair of strong arms and dragged back to bed.

* * *

The music grew louder as the night wore on –mostly to drown out the sounds of the various couples that were making use of the Uchiha mansion's many guest rooms. By this late stage, many of them were staggering around in a drunken daze –trying to distinguish between roof and floor.

Sasuke was currently rather proud of how well he was managing to maintain upright. He and Neji had lost a game of beer pong against Gaara and Naruto earlier in the night, and he was determined to have a rematch. He'd been drinking with Tenten and Kankuro for a while –didn't really know where Naruto was, but wasn't too bothered. He'd promised to find Gaara and drag him back for that rematch.

"Oi, there you are, bastard!" Naruto complained dramatically, striding up the corridor and nearly falling flat on his face. Sasuke caught him, and they looped their arms around each other's shoulders to stabilise each other.

"Gaara's *hic* waiting in the living room," Naruto informed him blearily, and Sasuke smirked.

" –Excellent," he declared, and then rolled his shoulders to try and sober up a little bit. From behind the door he and Naruto were currently leaning on, he could hear some rather unusual noises.

"…Fucking _hell_, Hidan! Go slower, yeah!"

"Ahh shit, quit your whining, fuck it's so…"

" –Do _not_ tell me to quit whining!" the first voice snapped back, "You're not the one with a dick shoved up your ass!" Naruto and Sasuke both paled and exchanged glances before returning to listening at the door.

Hidan panted heavily as he hovered over Deidara –the blonde with his legs hooked over his friend's shoulders ungracefully. He leaned down and kissed him again, feeling Deidara moan as Hidan shifted inside him.

"Hidan?" the blonde queried in a low murmur as Hidan slowly began thrusting into him. Deidara gripped the sheets of the bed tightly and let his head loll back into the pillows as Hidan kissed up his neck towards his mouth.

"Yeah?" he murmured lustfully in the blonde's ear.

"…This is the fucking gayest thing we've ever done." Hidan paused for a moment and let out a low chuckle.

"Too late to say 'no homo'?"

"Shut the fuck up and fuck me!"

Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other.

"Itachi's gonna fucking love this," Sasuke deadpanned as Naruto burst out into poorly repressed sniggers and the pair of them began making their way down to the living room.

Gaara and Neji were already at the beer pong table, with Kiba and Shikamaru sitting nearby –well, Shikamaru was lounging, and Kiba was swaying precariously –watching the way that Gaara every so often pressed a hand against Neji's chest and looked up at him slyly.

"What's going on there?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow –seeing Sasuke jabbing Naruto in the chest, demanding a rematch.

"What's going on where?" Shikamaru inquired innocently. Kiba frowned at his friend as they watched Naruto and Gaara take one end of the table, with Sasuke and Neji at the other. They quickly filled up their cups –Naruto taunting Sasuke childishly.

"…You're going down," Neji vowed coldly of Gaara.

"…Maybe if you win," Gaara replied with a smirk. Neji just cocked his head, picked up a ping pong ball and swiftly sent it flying across the table to land directly in one of Gaara's cups. With a confident crack of his neck, he glanced coolly across at the redhead. Gaara just shrugged and licked his lips.

"And if I win?" he remarked back, just as cockily, sending a ping pong ball back in exactly the same fashion.

"I'll take my chances," Neji shot back.

"…Play well, and you might get to take more than that," Gaara retorted, with a definite touch of something not-so-innocent in his voice as the pair of them stepped back to let their partners throw as they drank.

"I'm going to win," Neji informed him haughtily.

"I might let you."

" –How the _fuck_ are you guys still throwing like that?" Naruto complained, having apparently lost a great deal of his hand-eye coordination to alcohol. He was the only person who hadn't landed a ping pong ball in his first turn.

"All in the finger control," Neji assured him smugly, holding up a hand superiorly.

" –Bet ping pong's not all you can use that 'finger control' for…" Gaara remarked, a touch of a challenge in his voice.

"Do you do this on purpose?" Naruto complained in exasperation, giving Gaara a withering glare at the sexual banter. Gaara smirked at him.

"I'd do _him_ on purpose." They all stared at Neji, their mouths falling open. He folded his arms and glanced across at Gaara coolly to see how he'd react to this; his expression definitely one saying 'you heard me'. Gaara didn't even bat an eye –barely breaking eye contact with the Hyuuga as he calmly picked up a ping pong ball and slowly tossed it terribly so that it bounced off a cup and rolled off the table.

"…Oops…looks like I missed…" he called out innocently. Naruto let out a cry of exasperation with the realisation that from hereon in, Gaara was going to be trying to lose. Sasuke chuckled with a look of triumph in his eyes.

"Prepare to lose," he declared.

"No fair! Doesn't count if Gaara's throwing the game!" Naruto exclaimed hotly, "I demand a new partner!"

"Not happening," Sasuke smirked.

"Fine –I'll just beat you by myself then, bastard!" Naruto snapped as a ball landed in his cup and he was forced to drink.

"Tch, I'd like to see you try."

"Shikamaru…" Kiba sighed heavily, "What the hell, dude –I thought the whole point of Naruto sending a valentine to Sasuke was to get them to be nice to each other –and now look at them!" Shikamaru glanced over –having heard the entire exchange.

"Oh…my bad," he shrugged with a smirk tickling the edges of his grin. Kiba's eyes widened in shock as he looked from the way Naruto and Sasuke were insulting each other, yet grinning –and Naruto had a hickey on one side –no wait, make that _both_ sides of his neck.

"Oh my god," he muttered in shock, "This was never about them not getting on…this was…this was your plan from the start! You…" He fumbled on the words, "…You wanted them to get together?"

"Hah? I don't know what you're talking about," Shikamaru droned with a shrug, and Kiba's eyes whipped back across to the ping pong table to where Neji and Gaara were exchanging sexual innuendos that were progressively becoming less innuendo and more _invitation_.

" –And like, am I missing something with those two?" he demanded crossly, jabbing a finger at them, "Did you have something to do with that?"

"With what?" he replied innocently. Kiba looked at him suspiciously as Shikamaru casually stuck a finger in his ear. Man, the guy really didn't _look_ like someone who had some kind of crazy master plan figured out. He relaxed a little. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Sasuke and Naruto's 'relationship' –he supposed that was the correct word for it from now on –had just been a random escalation that _may_ have started with something that Shikamaru had suggested…

After all, Naruto and Sasuke _had_ been getting along better –as Shikamaru's plan had originally been…so maybe that had led to everything blowing out of proportion?

And seriously, the guy had been sitting on the couches practically this entire night. What kind of mischief could he be acting out just from there? He sighed heavily and looked over at Shikamaru as the genius sipped at his beer in disinterest.

"_You're_ the troublesome one sometimes," Kiba grunted with a roll of his eyes. Shikamaru shrugged with a yawn as his friend glanced back over at the ping pong table –glad to see the laugh in Sasuke's eyes and that grin plastered across Naruto's face. "Where is anyone, anyways?"

"Hah?" he blinked, and then quirked an eyebrow with the expression of a man who has been given an opportunity not to be missed, "Dunno about the others, but Sakura's out by the fountain." Kiba raised an eyebrow as Shikamaru shrugged casually and continued with his drink.

"What?" he frowned, "What the fuck's she doing out there?"

"…She seemed kinda bummed. Maybe you should go try cheer her up?"

* * *

**And there we have it my dears. This fic is finally done! I hope you have enjoyed the story, and I'll be sure to get something new in the works, alongside the two ****_Kuroko no Basuke _****ones that I'm also working on at the time of this update. *Smiles* [I told you the sexual content was slight -sorry about the lack of lemon] Forgive me, this time? **

**Much love**

**xx K**


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